#i feel a bit stupid because in the end I just… kinda drew her taller and then it clicked

[redkehlchen]

I think…. I might finally be happy with my OCs design…

The past few months I was just stuck in tunnel vision, but now Eloisa finally looks grown up! 🥲

Thought it might be fun to see her change throughout the years and gosh! Look at how far we‘ve come! :)

[watercolor-rainclouds]

long ass post about the original designs of my ocs (these are only the ones i've redesigned later, also not 100% accurate to the original designs because picrews have their limits but i was too lazy to draw them lol)

valerian (rian) started as john. still a vampire but with a whole different skin tone and everything. he used to look so boring omg. also at one point i almost cut him out of the whole story but instead i ended up changing him so much im not sure if it even counts as a redesign anymore lol.

mirabel was always named mirabel years before encanto came out and at the time i didnt know it was an actual name lol, originally as a nickname of miranda isabel but now it's just her actual name. also she was always a fairy, but once again her whole appearance changed (except her style). also her "theme color" went from pink to yellow, only because i wanted the six most important characters to make up a rainbow lol.

olga started as jane. she remained pretty similar except i got rid of the bangs and gave her shorter hair. i think i also made her taller but its hard to tell because my ocs used to not have set heights/height differences because i never drew them. once again, her power (shapeshifting) stayed the same, just like everyone else's.

i've mentioned this a lot i think, but ari started off as a boy (thats the backstory of why i made her trans). her appearance didnt change too much more than what transitioning would change about her. i gave her glasses back when she was still going to be a guy, but originally i dont think she had them.

and finally, lynn. her appearance didnt change a whole lot actually, but her role did. shes still an important character but she was originally going to be the protagonist. (also, i mostly draw her grey/posessed version but she has light brown hair normally). her name spelling kept changing between Lyn and Lynn, but i settled on Lynn. at some point i also gave her vitiligo but it's not visible on her grey version because all color is basically sucked out of her. when shes her regular self, she does have it though (unless i forget to add it while coloring her because its really hard to remember what details i kept vs what i didnt, but she is supposed to have vitiligo, so feel free to beat me with a stick if i draw her non-posessed version without it).

the last one of the old main cast would be edward but all i changed was give him glasses, and i made him way less important to the story. he got replaced by ellie as a major character because ellie had a lot more personality at the time. also, lynn got replaced by kiara who didn't even exsist originally. i drew kiara during a class one time and i liked her design so much i wanted to add her to this story, and lynn felt boring so she got replaced by her.

all of these ocs were originally inspired by the appearance of people i saw irl (as most of my ocs are), but the redesigns thankfully made them a bit more unique.

also its kinda funny because one could say my current oc lineup is "forced representation" (which is stupid, yes, but one could say this shit) but actually it was completely accidental. like i individually redesigned all of them, i didnt even have the other characters or the goal of representation in mind lol. like i made mirabel fat at one point "because why not", and then happened to get inspired from a black girl's tiktok so i made her black as well. like i just kept adding things to each of them until it felt right, and i accidentally ended up with a diverse and fun to draw cast of characters. and like i was already planning to make ari and olga a couple, so when i changed ari to be a girl i just decided to make olga a lesbian (ari was already bisexual before i even made her trans, so i didnt need to change anything about her). and then it was like "what if ellie has a gf? and what if its kiara?" (ellie has also always been bi) idk how it took me so long to realise im bisexual when i kept making my favorite ocs bi lol

so yeah. thats it for the embarrassing original designs of my main ocs. they look much cooler now because i got better at drawing people but i think its interesting/fun to look back to where i started

[crewofthegoldrush]

Not too long ago I drew Monty with her ex - she was mentioned in a session but their story wasn't addressed. It's considered canon to me that Monty has now told Aubrey the full story during the course of their date (❤!!!) so we can finally uncover the backstory of Monty's two childhood best friends, Gentry Yang O'Malley and Rascal O'Malley -

Following a pretty bad divorce, Gentry's mother moved them in with Gentry's grandpa, the current Sheriff of Runswick, to get back on their feet. They settled down and eventually opened up a flower shop, Thorns'n Ivy, filling a niche that ended up being pretty well received in this little town. Monty took to Gentry almost immediately, as she was already close to her Pops through her Pa, his deputy. Monty remembers Gentry being "sweet and spicy," charismatic and loyal, ornery as hell, flirty and hot-tempered straddling that line between a floral loving druid and a fire harboring tiefling, and she kinda loved her for it. 

Only a few years later, if that, Rascal moved to Runswick with his two dads as they opened a leatherwork shop, Tan Your Hide. Monty met Rascal not just because they were now school mates but because her aunt Thes, a blacksmith, really took to his dads. Despite his massive size (as an adult he is taller than Monty and quite bulky, being a minotaur worksmith), he is extremely gentle and kind, with a jovial and optimistic view of the world. It was usually the case that the more calm and level headed Rascal was the one reining in his girls. Some of the clothes Monty still wears to this day were made by Rascal, including her hat.

Monty absolutely adored both of them, but as one might expect, she harbored a huge crush on Gentry and the two had a flirty relationship from their "high school" years to well into their adulthood - it wasn't necessarily a secret between them, just something they never seriously acted on. This would ultimately culminate in what Monty considers her biggest embarrassment. Monty held a party the weekend she made deputy, and wouldn't you know it, she woke up with a killer hangover, her best friend next to her, and two matching wedding rings. She still to this day has no memory of this, and Gentry isn't much help either.

The marriage only lasted for about two months. It was certainly nice for a little while, with this being the push to finally do something about their relationship. But the reality that they were now committed and they hadn't even dated yet - and at a relatively young age as this would have been when Monty was the dragonborn equivalent of 19 or 20 - it was all a bit too much for two "unkept" gals, and it certainly strained the marriage and almost their friendship. On top of this, Monty was desperate to keep it from her parents as she was still too embarrassed to tell them. 

(She would be even more embarrassed to learn they knew the whole time.)

Eventually the two decided whatever this potential relationship was wasn't worth straining their friendship and they divorced. The two did swap rings as gifts to the other, as sort of a joke, sort of a promise. It is likely this was also done as a balm of sorts for Gentry, considering her parents' divorce. Monty now uses this ring for her spell-slot restoring infusion.

Similar to Monty and Gentry, Gentry and Rascal also had a flirty relationship that they never seriously addressed. This never turned into a love triangle between them, especially considering Monty's courtship style is very hands off - if a gal isn't hers, she feels no right to jealousy - and she was just as likely to make jokes about the two hooking up. Rascal was genuinely happy for them when they tried to make the marriage work, and was likewise almost overly concerned that Monty seemingly "threw away her chance" with Gentry and only stopped feeling bad when Monty insisted she was fine with the divorce - it wasn't a real proper thing anyway, this stupid thing she did and everyone should just forget about it.

Eventually, after the marriage was behind them, Gentry and Rascal left Runswick. One of Rascal's fathers was away at the war but following his discharge due to an injury, Rascal moved away to take care of him and support his dads. This left Gentry and Monty alone for a bit, but following Shepherd's passing, Gentry and her Mom move out of the small town to upscale their shop thanks to the inheritance they received. Mostly by coincidence, the two end up in still close proximity to each other and do eventually begin to date, and marry. Monty gladly attends their wedding, and comes home from that weekend to find a little blue kobold on her mom's hip.

Monty kept in touch with them up until her banishment where, in her shame, she dropped communications with them as she still considered them part of her clan. The only communications she ever responded to was when Gentry claimed she would "kill her if she died in the Mourning somehow." She is very, very slowly reaching out to them again, and has recently learned they intend to make her their kid's Godmother, should they have any (If they haven't already - I reserve the right to retcon this should I need to ;p)

 Fun Facts bc this post isn’t long enough eh

Monty's nickname for Gentry is "Rosé" and Rascal's is "Beefcake." It was Gentry who gave Monty her small affinity for roses

Gentry's mother's name is Sandra, and she was good friends with Belle and Aunt Arizona; Rascal's Pa's are Mark (a lion tabaxi) & Derek (a water buffalo minotaur). yea when i need to name an NPC on the fly i just throw my hand into my bag titled “grey’s names & country music”

The character concepts for all three of them were created because of this post  

Originally Gentry's personality was going to be much more similar to Aubrey's in that "defrosting ice queen" way, but that doesn't reflect the story I wanted Montbrey to be and it was important to me that Monty was never hung up on her ex (dnd is therapy etc etc). Although now that Aubrey is opening up more, some of their similarities are starting to shine through. Wayfinder though does remind Monty of Rascal and is partly why she feels close to him.

Monty never told Tequila about Gentry or Rascal specifically because not only was the whole thing behind them at this point, but it was also something that greatly embarrassed her. Dragonborn do not like to discuss things that hurt their ego, making it a "well you never asked" topic for her

not that it matters, but Gentry is pan and Rascal is bi! 

[thaliagrayce]

The Innocent Can Never Last

here’s the ao3 link if you wanna stop by!

Her roots were just barely starting to show. She leaned over the shitty drugstore pocket mirror she had propped against the windowsill above her sleeping bag and pulled some of her short hair straight up, squinting at the half centimeter of blond that had crept up underneath the black. She would have to dye it again soon, but it was almost a miracle that it was only half a centimeter. Her hair used to grow a lot faster, before she was a tree.

Whatever. Maybe this meant it was time to finally get that buzz cut she’d always wanted; she would have enough time enough to enjoy the way the short dark hair looked on her head before it grew out blond again. For now, though, all she did was ruffle her hand through it to cover the blond as well as she could and made sure her eyeliner was properly smudged before getting out of her makeshift bed.

She ignored the haphazard stack of orange t-shirts piled next to her duffel bag that some Hermes camper had brought her the first week she’d been there. Changing in the middle of the day felt kinda stupid, but it meant that she’d already checked off her Camp Spirit for the day. Nobody could tell her to change. Today was a black tank top kind of day, anyway. The last thing she grabbed before leaving was the dark blue UC Berkeley drawstring bag she’d kept with her on the road, torn in a few places and with half the yellow logo faded to illegibility. Its contents clanked as she threw it over her shoulder and pushed the door open.

The late afternoon heat of July hit her without mercy as soon as she opened the cabin door, and she had to screw her eyes shut against the force of the sunlight. It felt like a completely different world out here, with kids yelling to each other from across the basketball courts and chasing each other around with swords and screaming when they fell off the climbing wall. The inside of the Zeus cabin must have been soundproofed, because it always felt so cut off from the rest of camp—you couldn’t hear anything but the rumble of thunder from in those walls. Maybe Zeus just didn’t like sharing the spotlight.

Changing into a black shirt started to sound like a bad idea in retrospect halfway to the infirmary, but she didn’t let that deter her. She’d worn nothing but hospital gowns and orange shirts since she woke up two weeks ago, and stupid heat and sunlight wouldn’t ruin her first day of freedom.

Some son of Apollo she recognized was leaving the infirmary just as she got to the door. She nodded at him, trying and failing to remember his name. There were so many people here. She hadn’t really had to learn anyone’s name in years—not anyone that mattered, anyway—and now she was presented with at least five new people every day.

And they all wore orange. She’d had an almost constant headache from all the color when she first woke up, which really didn’t help her memory or attention span.

The infirmary was almost empty when she got there, just a couple campers tidying up. Two sharp raps to the doorframe drew their attention to her.

“Fletcher. You got the goods?���

Lee Fletcher was the eldest camper in the room, a skinny dark-skinned boy with dreads tied back in a ponytail and a smile sunny enough to announce his parentage without need to be claimed. He was one of the only people whose name Thalia had actually learned since she woke up. He had been the one in charge of monitoring Thalia during the week that she’d spent stuck in the infirmary, and she was still trying to figure out how to properly say ‘thank you for keeping me alive and sane even after I punched you in the face’.

“You owe me for this, you know.” Lee grinned at her and held up one finger in a ‘one second’ gesture, then jogged to his bag in the corner. While he shuffled around in it, Thalia shrugged her bag off her shoulders.

“I had to cash in a favor with Travis Stoll for this. You know how much those are worth?”

“He’s one of the Hermes ones, right?” Thalia stepped into the room and leaned against the wall. “Just tell him it was for me, then he’ll have something on the new kid. You’ll be fine.”

“Here we go!” He straightened up and crossed the room to her, holding out a smuggled CD case. “Brand new, pristine condition. Come back to me when you realize Nimrod is child’s play.”

She took the case and immediately wanted the album art on a pin to add to her jacket—a white hand holding on to a red heart-shaped grenade. Nice. She wouldn’t admit that to Lee yet, though.

“Come on. You’ve heard Nimrod, right? How can you be so confident I’m gonna like this one more?”

“Because Good Riddance is the only song worth remembering on the entire album. Just trust me, American Idiot is gonna blow you away.”

She smirked at him and shoved the CD into her bag. “We’ll see about that. Thanks for getting this for me.”

“No problem. Once you’re done with that, I’m gonna introduce you to My Chemical Romance” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall next to her, sighing with a bittersweet smile. “It’s just nice to have someone else around who has good taste in music again.”

The since Luke left went unsaid, but hung like a summer thunderstorm in the silence after his words. Thalia looked down at her hands, at the few freckles dotting her knuckles and fresh black nail polish she and Annabeth had applied together yesterday. The two of them had spent an hour sitting together like that, painting each other’s nails while Annabeth quizzed Thalia about important global events that had happened while she was out and people she should probably know going forward. It wasn’t hard to imagine him here with them if she thought about it, which is why she didn’t let herself think about it.

Life was simpler when she was a tree.

Lee cleared his throat and uncrossed his arms, tapping the wall behind him twice before pushing off of it. “I, uh, gotta get back to work. You think you’ll start listening before dinner?”

She looked up at him and smiled, but even she could tell it didn’t reach her eyes. “Oh yeah. I’ll have a full analysis double-spaced and printed for you by six.” Lee huffed a laugh, and she considered that to be a step forward. Awkward atmosphere who? She could have more than two friends.

“Good. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.”

She sent a wave over her shoulder as she stepped out and made a mental note to talk to him about the album tomorrow. She liked Lee. She wanted to be his friend and was determined to put in the work to make sure that happened, but she wasn’t going to be at dinner tonight. There were more important things on her agenda than team dinner.

The sun was hanging a little closer to the horizon now; not close to sunset yet, but the heat had lost its intensity. She had to get a move on.

Campers stared at her when she was out and about sometimes, which really wasn’t her favorite thing. She’d had enough unwanted attention from the public to last a few lifetimes already. Usually people cared about the other parent, though. The Hephaestus kid coming out of the forge probably didn’t even know who Beryl Grace was, let alone see her wide blue eyes and signature smile on Thalia’s face.

It wasn’t much better, but at least being a child of Zeus came with power. The stare she got now wasn’t just curiosity, it was respect.

She stared down the Hephaestus kid as she walked past, and they had the decency to look embarrassed about staring. Good.

She got halfway to the dining pavilion before she was interrupted again.

“Thalia!”

Annabeth was taller than her now, which didn’t feel like something that should be allowed. When she bounded over to Thalia, all smiles and curls and bright orange t-shirt, Thalia actually had to look up to meet her eyes.  It was strange. She had started to think of Annabeth as a little sister somewhere along the road, and when she woke up again, she realized she had missed—six? Seven?—years of Annabeth’s life. That hit her harder than any years of her own life she had missed. As far as Thalia was concerned, she had died at age twelve and been resurrected at age fifteen and that was that.

But Annabeth was tall now, and smiling at her. Thalia smiled back, real despite the mood she had slipped into since leaving Lee. It wasn’t hard.

“Annabeth! How you doing? Where’s Percy?” The boy was usually two steps behind Annabeth, or she was two steps behind him, and they were usually bickering loud enough for half the camp to be able to make an informed decision on whose side they would take if asked.

Annabeth made a face at his name, but she also blushed a bit. Thalia bit back her smirk. The kid tried, but she couldn’t hide her true emotions for anything. She liked to pretend she didn’t drag him around everywhere, but Thalia had only been back for two weeks and it was already a little weird to not see them together.

“I don’t know, doing Percy things? We’re not attached at the hip, you know.” She flicked her ponytail over her shoulder, and Thalia watched it bounce.

That was another thing. Her hair was long now. The day after Thalia woke up, Annabeth had come to sit with her in the infirmary, just to be with her for a while and drink in each other’s presence. Thalia had reached out a hand and touched one of her curls, tugging it a little and watching it bounce back to join the rest. When she had looked at Annabeth’s face again, she had tears in her eyes and a wobbly smile on her mouth.

“It suits you,” Thalia had said. It was true. Annabeth looked so much happier now, so much more confident. She looked as proud as Thalia felt.

Now, tan and tall and comfortable enough to be blushing in the sunlight, it was clear that this place had become her home in the years Thalia had been gone. For a moment, she was hit with how much she had missed.

“We should get our ears pierced together.”

Annabeth blinked at her in surprise. She might have been talking while Thalia wandered into nostalgialand.

“But you already have pierced ears.”

Of course she had pierced ears, she’d grown up with a famous mother who cared more about her baby’s image than the person behind it. Thalia had pierced ears since before she could talk. She also remembered Annabeth being transfixed by her earrings when she thought Thalia wasn’t looking on the road, though. Thalia had missed seven years and hadn’t been able to support Annabeth through most aspects of her transition, but this was something she could be around for.

“I want a double piercing, we should go together.” Thalia squared her shoulders and crossed her arms, looking at Annabeth with challenge in her eyes. “Unless you’re afraid of needles, of course.”

Annabeth bristled, which was exactly what Thalia had been hoping for.

“I’ve faced fully-grown cyclopes and a boat full of angry monsters and the Lord of the Dead himself. I think I can handle one needle.”

“Good. We can sneak out later this week.”

“Or,” Annabeth corrected, “we could wait for September. Chiron told me to find you, he said he snagged a spot for you at the boarding school I’m going to this fall. It’ll be a lot easier to get into the city from school.”

Thalia immediately felt lighter, like a weight she hadn’t even known was there suddenly lifted from her shoulders. A week ago, Chiron had broken it to her that she probably had to stay at camp all year round because of how strong her aura was. She’d been going to the Big House every morning to train with the Mist, but he made sure her hopes didn’t get too high—she needed to get good good before she would be able to safely leave camp.

“For real? He actually said that?”

“Yep! We won’t be roommates, but we’ll be in the same dorm. It’ll be super easy to find me if something goes wrong.”

That meant less of Annabeth’s life that she had to miss because she was sidelined. More time when she could just exist with her little sister, learn who she had become in Thalia’s absence. Learn who she would grown into.

“Sick, you can help me study. I haven’t been to school since I was like seven.”

Annabeth laughed at that. “Neither have I, this is gonna be an interesting year.”

One of Annabeth’s sisters ran over to get her after that, something about an argument about beach volleyball rules getting a little too heated. Names were called, swords were drawn. That seemed like a pretty common occurrence here, though, so Annabeth hadn’t looked too worried as she hugged Thalia and said goodbye. The sun was dipping a little closer to the setting point, anyway. Thalia was running out of time.

A few dryads were setting up the dining pavilion for dinner by the time she got there. If she didn’t want to be stuck waiting for everyone else, she had to be sneaky about how she got her shit. Luckily for her, living on the streets for your formative years was a pretty good way to learn how to get in and out of a place undetected.

The first trick was knowing exactly what you were going to take before you went in to get it. She skirted around to the back of the pavilion and hid behind a column. The table farthest from her held a huge bowl of peaches—easily bruised but still easily grabbable. Closer by, a dryad with stick-straight brown hair wheeled a big dish that kinda looked like a boat with a cover out on a cart, and Thalia dismissed that immediately. Nothing portable was kept in a container like that—it was probably pasta night, or some kind of soup or something. Unless she wanted to ruin her bag and everything in it, that wasn’t an option.

More than one peach, then. That was fine. There was a big basket of fresh rolls next to the probably-pasta, and they smelled good. She’d had worse meals than fresh bread and peaches before.

The second trick was confidence. If you looked like you knew what you were doing, you were a lot less likely to be stopped while you did it. Thalia waited until the dryad had gone back into the kitchens, then walked out from her hiding spot with her shoulders set and her posture relaxed. Carefully casual. She managed to get to the bread and stick three rolls into her bag without drawing any attention at all.

Walking toward the peaches put her directly in the path of another dryad, though. She was just headed out of the kitchens, carrying a platter of still-steaming brownies. She blinked at Thalia twice, and her green eyebrows drew together in confusion.

“It’s not time to eat yet, what are you doing back here?”

Confidence, she reminded herself.

“I was sent here.” Confident statement, confident tone. She was doing great.

The dryad narrowed her eyes. “Oh, really? By who? Why?”

Maybe confidence only worked if you had the conviction to back it up. She thought briefly about just getting out of there, but then she remembered that she was getting daily lessons in bullshitting other people. This was a harmless enough reason; she was sure the nymph would understand, and Chiron would probably be fine with her practicing at camp.

Probably.

She breathed in through her nose and thought of what the dryad saw: some punk teenager trying to sneak food before dinner. There had been a moment of recognition, though, right before the suspicion set in. She knew who Thalia was.

Thalia waved her hand in the air, disguising it as adjusting one of the straps on her shoulder. She put both breath and intention behind her words, and prayed to her father that it would actually work.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to get in your way. I can’t eat with the rest of the campers for medical reasons tonight. I won’t be much of a hassle, I’m just going to grab a peach before the crowd gets here and I can’t leave.”

The dryad blinked. Her eyes went a little hazy, which immediately filled Thalia with equal parts elation and guilt. It had worked, but she had just preyed on this woman’s kindness. The fact that the words were mostly true was a bit of consolation, at least.

“Of course. Take a brownie, too. I hope you feel better soon.”

She felt bad, but not bad enough to not take a brownie. They smelled fantastic.

After that, she had no trouble getting at the peaches and slipping a few of them into her bag. As she walked away, she heard the squeaking of wheels and the clinking of plates—the harpies had come in to set the tables. She’d gotten out just in time.

Now she just had to get across camp without being noticed and pulled in with the dinner rush. Cutting through the middle of the cabins was the most direct route, but it was also guaranteed to get her seen by well-intentioned curious eyes. She eyed the amphitheater. Going around the far end of that would take more time and would take her closer to the magical camp border than she should go, but it was also the most hidden option. It was probably fine. She had her shield, she had a butterfly knife in her pocket. She took the long route.

As she was skirting around the raised seating, a laugh carried up from the stage—someone must have been using it. The laugh stopped her cold, pulse running wild. Her brain knew that it wasn’t Luke, it couldn’t have been Luke, but—

“Cut it out, Trav! I have a reputation!”

There it was again, the laugh. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, ignored the sudden heat behind her eyes. Of course. The Stolls. It really was incredible how similar siblings could be.

“What reputation, dude? You snorted chocolate milk out your nose last week.”

Thalia hiked her bag further up on her shoulder and walked faster. She’d been stupid. Luke wasn’t here, and it would be a serious threat if he was. She knew that.

She still wasn’t sure if her reaction had been happiness, fear, anger, or a fucked up mix of all of them.

Finally, the giant pine peeked out from the other side of the amphitheater. She gave the entrance a wide berth, not wanting to be seen and not wanting to hear anything more. She focused on the silhouette of the tree against the sky.  Even after two full weeks, it felt wrong to look at it from the outside. Like looking down at her hand but not recognizing it as her own.

As she got closer, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She’d never cared about the scent of pine trees before she’d become one, but now she found herself missing it. She’d technically lived in a pine tree for longer than she’d ever lived almost anywhere else, and her memories of Beryl’s house were both distant and stressful. Cedar, fir, and juniper were the first scents she thought of when she heard the word “home”. Demigod life might be confusing and she might be completely out of the loop, but at least this tree was, too. She could breathe easier as she approached.

The baby dragon that had gotten there earlier that week—Peleus—lifted his head as she got closer, but lowered it again immediately when he saw who it was. The rest of the camp was still pretty uneasy around him, but Thalia didn’t quite get it. He was about the size of a Great Dane and just as affectionate as one, if he trusted you.

He didn’t trust a lot of people yet, though. He knew that Argus was the guy that brought him food and Chiron was the one who clopped away in a funny way if you sneezed fire, so they were okay, but the rest of camp was on thin ice.

He’d never minded Thalia, though. She kind of thought he still recognized her as part of the tree, or maybe he recognized the tree as part of her. Whatever. The dragon loved her, which felt pretty damn good. She patted his head once as she passed his napping spot, and he rumbled something that sounded like a purr but much, much deeper.

She took off her bag and sat heavily on the other side of the trunk, staring out over the forest at the almost-setting sun. In the distance, the conch shell sounded, followed by a loud bang from somewhere around the armory. Probably one of the Hephaestus kids experimenting for the fireworks show. It wouldn’t be for another few days, but camp had been plagued by random crashes and explosions all week. She was getting better at not reacting, getting more used to this camp and all of its eccentricities.

She took the beat-up blue CD player out of her bag, the only relic she still had from her time at home. She’d left Beryl Grace’s house with a duffel bag full of clothes, an entire loaf of bread, a block of cheese, and her trusty CD player. Back then, she only had a Wham! CD that some well-meaning friend of her mother had given her, something that she’d lost somewhere between Montana and Wyoming. The big black over-the-ear headphones that she pulled out next were more recent, but still pretty old by current standards. Luke had stolen them for her from a Radio Shack in Georgia somewhere, as an apology present for some dumb mistake he’d made that day. She couldn’t even remember why she had been mad, but she remembered the way he smiled at her excitement.

She didn’t like dwelling on Luke, but she figured she had one day a year to be sorry for herself. She deserved it. She took the CD Lee had given her out of its case and popped it in the player before bringing out one of the peaches.

The album was good, Lee was right. Better than Nimrod. She let it play as she cut up the peaches with her butterfly knife and ate them, either sliced on top of the bread or just plain. They were juicier than they should have been this early in the summer, but she figured it was probably some bullshit divine magic. Everything here ran on it. She bit into one of the rolls, still warm despite the walk.

So Luke was evil now. That’s what Percy said that first day, at least, and Annabeth had looked too distressed to correct him at the time. She’d gotten defensive since then, put her foot down when the topic came up—which really wasn’t that often, whenever both Annabeth and Thalia were in a room—and made sure everyone knew that Luke was still good. Just misguided.

Thalia had no idea what to think. Some of the stories about him she understood completely. Starting a rebellion against the gods because they were shitty parents? Yeah, that checked. The two of them had done their fair share of griping about the awful hand they’d been dealt when they were on the run, and there was really no way that blame didn’t rest directly on their parents’ shoulders. Her death had probably made that worse for him, and she sincerely felt for him there.

Hurting kids, though? Especially someone who was so close to Annabeth, someone she clearly cared about? That was a little farfetched. Percy seemed like an honest kid, and everyone else she had asked backed him up on the whole scorpion story (and the several subsequent swordfights), but she still couldn’t quite get her heart to believe that Luke had tried to kill this boy when he was twelve. Percy was still shorter than Thalia, and he had this sharp air around him that reminded Thalia of Luke sometimes. He couldn’t do that, right? She knew him. She trusted him. They had been angry on the road, yeah, but they had taken Annabeth in without blinking. That anger was directed entirely at the gods. He wouldn’t try to destroy the one safe place on the planet for kids like them.

She flat-out refused to believe that Luke had poisoned her. Or—if he had, he had poisoned the tree. He thought Thalia was dead, Thalia was supposed to be dead. The tree itself wouldn’t have mattered.

(She didn’t think of the motivation behind poisoning the tree. She couldn’t.)

So some of what she heard had to be bullshit, plain and simple, but…

She’d caught a few people laughing at some of her jokes about him, his harmless quirks and manners of speech, before they caught themselves. They knew him, they’d known him before whatever actually happened went down. Before he became evil or whatever. Some of them had clearly been friends with him—not to the same extent, but still—and they all said he’d done these terrible things. So she didn’t know what to think. They knew him, but maybe they didn’t know him as well as she did.

Then again, maybe she didn’t know him as well as she’d thought. People changed. Maybe her best friend became a child murderer.

She wiped the butterfly knife on her pants before she closed it and stuck it in her pocket, done with her peaches and bread. The song that had just started was nice, more mellow and low-key than the rest of the album. It sounded sad, minor chords and a mournful voice, but she hadn’t been paying much attention to the lyrics. She would have to listen to the whole album again before she talked to Lee tomorrow. That was okay, it was good. She would have re-listened to it anyway.

The sun was finally setting for real, and she thunked her head against the trunk of the tree behind her. Whether or not she liked it, whether or not she believed it was Luke, someone had poisoned her tree. Either to get at camp or to get at her specifically, she didn’t know. It would have ended up the same either way. She wasn’t supposed to be awake, she didn’t want to be awake, but here she was. And now, from what Chiron had told her that morning about a prophecy, she was expected to go and kill her best friend on her next birthday.

Welcome back to life, Thalia.

She thought she had died so that Luke, Annabeth, and Grover could be safe, so that they could all have somewhere that would feel like home and protect them from the monsters. Now Annabeth had battle scars all over and Grover had just spent two weeks captive and in terror for his life and Luke had become the monster she was expected to fight and she was still alive, so her sacrifice meant nothing.

She took a shaky breath and felt how much cooler the breeze was against the tracks her tears had made. Tonight wasn’t about Luke. She had to move on. There would be time to think about him later.

For now she paused the music at the end of the slow song, but she kept the bulky headphones on. She knew she was less likely to be disturbed like this, dressed in her ripped-up ratty jeans with her angry eyeliner and big black headphones. ‘Difficult to talk to’ was the exact look she had been going for that afternoon. She moved away from the trunk of the tree, but not far enough that her silhouette would be noticeable to a faraway observer. Still under the wide boughs, still enclosed in comfort. She cleared a circle about a foot wide of any pine needles, thankful that a combination of Peleus and shade meant that grass never successfully grew under the tree.

She took a few tissues from her bag and set them in the center of the circle, smoothing down their edges in an attempt to look nice. It probably wasn’t necessary, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

Gently, she set the brownie she’d gotten from the nymph in the center of the napkins. Then she took out her old electric blue gas station lighter. She was kind of surprised it still had fluid after all these years, but she was grateful for it. Stealing a lighter or matches would have been a lot harder for her than stealing some peaches.

She lit the tissues. As the flames crept closer to the brownie, she prayed.

“Hey, Hades. It’s me. Again.” The tissue burned out completely, but the moist brownie caught fire, so she guessed he had probably heard.

“I know it’s been a few years. Also you tried to kill me, which wasn’t cool and probably means you hate me, but I get it. I guess. You can hate me, that’s fine. I just—” She swallowed, suddenly aware of how hot her eyes had become. She felt a tear fall onto her arm. If Hades was listening, he probably already knew what she was going to say. She’d done this every year, but she needed to say it again. She needed to.

“Please take care of Jason.” She blinked past the wetness in her eyes and watched the fire spread over the brownie in unnatural colors—blue and white, purple and gold. It smelled like it was baking instead of burning. She hoped that Jason could smell it from wherever his little two-year-old soul was down there.

“I know it’s not cake, but you always liked these better anyway. Happy birthday, bud. Miss you.”

The worst thing about waking up so close to July was that she wasn’t used to the years she had skipped yet. She was fifteen and she shouldn’t have been fifteen and it took her a full minute to figure out how old Jason should have been starting today.

Twelve. It would have been his twelfth birthday, had he survived past his second. Had Thalia not left him with their mother. Had she run away a week earlier, towing him along behind her. Would he and Annabeth have been friends? What would he think of Luke? Of Camp Half-Blood?

When she’d made her last stand seven years ago, right here in this spot, her final thoughts hadn’t actually been about protecting Annabeth or Luke or Grover. That was her motivation, yes, but her last thoughts had actually been about her brother. There was no way she would get out of that encounter alive, she knew that. She thought she had known that. The last thing she remembered thinking before she woke up was I hope I get to see Jason again.

She closed her eyes and breathed in the mingling scents of pine and baking brownies. It was July First, and Thalia was allowed to be sad today. She would pull herself together by tomorrow, she always did, but she was allowed to cry tonight.

She opened her eyes and watched the colors as the sun finally dipped to touch the horizon, flames in the sky mirroring the burning brownie in front of her, and mourned for all she had lost.

[katyatalks]

Mob Psycho 100 II - Kameda Yoshimichi’s Character Design Notes

With each blu-ray/DVD volume of MP100 II Character Designer Kameda Yoshimichi gives some notes regarding his process designing each character. Here are all his notes for S2 in the order they are presented, regarding; Shinra Banshoumaru, Emi, Mogami Keiji, Joudou Kirin, Asagiri Minori, The Urban Legends, Shimazaki Ryou, Hatori Nozomu, Minegishi Toshiki, Shibata Hiroshi, Suzuki Touichirou & Serizawa Katsuya.

SHINRA BANSHOUMARU

My highly recommended character from season 2, Shinrin Maruo! … that’s not his name, it’s Shinra Banshoumaru!! I super, super love Shinra to the point where it’s unbearable, and I even put him into season 1!!! Do you know where, though? These lovable, chubby characters - they’re lacking in recent anime, but I figured I’m in the position to change that!! I made him bigger than he is in the manga and upon drawing his rough design, Director Tachikawa told me I was going too far and had me draw a retake. I was like a bulldozer - ‘That’s so stupid!’ - so I managed to save his nice body (laughs).

After episode 2 he doesn’t appear at all, but please be sure to love Shinrin!!! How about a spin-off!? “Shinrin Psycho 100”, how’s that!?!?!? Ah, Shinra, actually. Sorry.

EMI

The amount of people who wanted to see this story animated!!!! Since it usually ranks either first or second place in polls that assess the most popular story in the Mob Psycho 100 manga, we figured we’d have season 2 start with it, and since it’s such a popular part, there was an agreement that I’d be animation director for it! Which I was enthusiastic about, until - huh? Episode 2 has Shinra Banshoumaru? Then, I’ll do episode 2! And with that, I left episode 1 in the hands of Yoshida-san! It’s a story with drama at its heart, and that’s what Yoshida-san specialises in, so I was happy with that!!! I’m pleased with Emi-chan’s hair colour. I made it a caramel-pink. My type 100%.

MOGAMI KEIJI

Truth is, work on Mob Psycho 100 II began from Episode 5. Because of that, the first of the fresh new characters to be drawn was Mogami. Just before getting to work on Mob Psycho 100 II I’d been working on something else where the proportions are quite short, so I kept in mind that I had to make sure that didn’t affect my designs here - as a result, for the first rough draft for Mogami, I had him with full on shoulder pads so he’d look taller, in a Saeba Ryou kinda vibe (laughs). Well, maybe not as far as Saeba Ryou. As expected, following a check with the director I was told the balance of his body isn’t Mob Psycho-ish!  And now his design is as it is. And yet… maybe it would’ve been nice to have his shoulders be raised, just a little?? In the manga he’s quite a handsome man, but my Mogami isn’t that handsome… that’s regrettable.

JOUDOU KIRIN

I have Joudou-sensei wear a kesa [Buddhist priest’s robe] in the anime - it’s pretty cute, isn’t it? Something I paid attention to was the lines from where his kesa ends to his tip toes! He appears in episodes 4-7 and more so than Mogami does, but he’s fun to draw. His deformation in episode 4 was super funny, so we included more of those (laughs). However, the wrinkles on his forehead and his hair barcode are a bit of trouble, and he’s got three rosaries on, and vertical stripes on his kesa… a lot of lines, and animating all those lines is a delicate matter. Also, he has huge eyes. They must get dry easily, I’m sure that’s tough for him.

ASAGIRI MINORI

We get three design variations for Minori - the one in the bed, the one that’s possessed by Mogami, and the one wearing Salt Middle School’s sailor uniform. Her chipped nails while she’s lying in the bed are an anime original. I wanted something in her design that’d counter her cute face. Above everything, what stands out in her design is her hair colour!!!! Her final design has her with purple hair, but at first I imagined her with a cute pink, like Minky Momo-chan. However, the pink hair didn’t really match with her skin colour and overall ghastliness when she’s possessed by Mogami, so after a revision, I went for purple. The way she is now��� well, she’s cute, but I think pink hair would’ve been reeeeeeally cute! There’s not many illustrations in the manga where the characters are given colour, so it was very fun getting to choose colours for the anime!

URBAN LEGENDS

With the characters that appear in the Urban Legend Arc, it was super fun to envision how they might move around, and what details to add and/or remove!! Regarding Wriggle Wriggle from episode 1, in order to give a sense of scale in comparing its height with Mob’s, on its character sheet I drew it with an extreme use of perspective. An angle similar to that image gets used in the anime.

In episode 2, Red Raincoat is as he is in the manga, but The Dragger dragging her dolls behind her is an original design. I gave the three dolls she drags a sense of individuality & a ghastly feel, then thought about wetting her clothes and skirt with mud and rain, deciding to make her simple. The dragger has very long hair, which appeals to my 80s-anime-loving taste. I guess when it comes to original designs I always drag out something that I’ve been stocking in my own drawers (laughs).

On the other hand, with Dash Granny all we see of her is her running blurry form, so even on her character sheet her references are all smeared - kinda like me declaring, ‘right, I’m the animation director for episode 2, so let me handle drawing the granny.’ (Laughs).

Season 2 is filled with a lot of deep stories, so if we get to continue the Mob Psycho 100 anime, I’d like for us to do more light-hearted stories where cases related to urban legends are solved like this!!

SHIMAZAKI RYOU

The member of the Ultimate Five who gets the most time in the spotlight, Shimazaki - easy to draw, isn’t he?? His eyes are lines, the corners of his mouth are a little lifted - just draw that and there you go! Shimazaki! He fights with Teru-kun twice -  episodes 9 and 11 - but I’ve been told that the jersey Teru-kun wears from episode 10 onwards is quite perplexing (laughs). In the manga it’s a black jersey… of course I know that. It’s just… he fights Shimazaki, who has a black colour scheme, and then Mob and Sakurai also have black colour schemes… Suzuki is more or less the same, as is Koyama, so to say. Way too many characters with a black colour scheme. Having all these characters with black colour schemes in one scene? That’s a No, Thanks from me. With all that blackness, you wouldn’t be able to understand who’s who!!!!!! Huh? You’d understand because Teru is blonde? W-well...

HATORI NOZOMU

You noticed, right? Hatori’s very cute pigeon [hato] crest!! A crest I highly recommend! … and yet, Hatori doesn’t appear much, does he… plus, the pigeon really didn’t stand out at all either (laughs). As much as I could, I’d leave the style of clothing that each character wears in the manga more or less the same for their anime design, then apply colour, then add a design that matches the character - designing their clothes was fun! Teru-kun’s jersey has a seagull, and Koyama’s hoodie has a spiral-like design - I think it’d be fun to search for these designs!! Actually, why does Teru-kun’s jersey have a seagull on it, you might ask?? Well, flip the seagull upside down… and you get someone standing… pigeon toed!

MINEGISHI TOSHIKI

I felt like the kinds of plants Minegishi manipulates would be of a carnivorous nature, so I ended up learning a lot of stuff when I was doing research! When thinking of carnivorous plants, what immediately springs to mind is Rafflesia! Even when reading illustrated encyclopaedias as a kid, I thought Rafflesia plants looked pretty scary. I’d read something about ‘man-eating plants’ and thought to myself, man, I want that to be about Rafflesia - I looked it up and it was! It stinks, so it’s as if it eats both humans and insects! I feel sorry for it - it’s just a stinky flower. Also, I made a big discovery!! Seems like you can drink the digestive fluids of pitcher plants!!! *gags*. Apparently you can only drink it before they catch insects, but it’s close to being germ-free, so please, drink without worry! Also, in Malaysia or somewhere like that, it seems they put rice inside the mouth of a pitcher plant, then steam and eat it, like bamboo chimaki [Rice dumpling wrapped in bamboo leaves]. ...In a pitcher plant… really…? *gags* *gags again*. With venus flytraps, too, people put minced meat in their mouths and grill them or something… those of you who own carnivorous plants; please, give it a go!! But the result is your own responsibility!!!

SHIBATA HIROSHI

He brings the pressure in episode 10 - when I read the manga, I felt this incomparable atmosphere when Shibata transforms and roars noisily around. I think the anime was amazing in amping that up! Looking at the manga, when Shibata’s on his rampage, he takes on more of a swarthy tone. So when I came to choose his colours for the anime, I first had his skin tone be pretty dark, but I felt like that didn’t give the same impact as it did in the manga, so I proposed giving him a scarlet tone as if he came from the Asura realm! And I’m glad I had the sense to! Actually, speaking on this now, he’s kinda like The Hulk (laughs). I guess it would’ve been funny if I made his skin green.

SUZUKI TOUICHIROU

Truth is, I’d finalised Suzuki’s design during season 1. Only because he appears for a split second during the final episode, though (laughs). But, while working on the main story, something I noticed with my design that troubled me was that alongside being slender and baby-faced, his height left something to be desired… so he didn’t look like a boss character in the slightest. After I finished work on the final episode, I thought it’d be good to make his face a little longer, ie. more mature. To make him appear more aggressive, I tried to make his eyes smaller, but then his design strayed too far from his manga self. Of all the things that caused me grief, the worst one of them all was his hair - does he have a jagged hairline because he’s brushed his hair back, or is the jaggedness there a very short fringe due to him having short hair? After I finished work on the final episode, I unexpectedly had the chance to see ONE-sensei, live, drawing Suzuki - from there, my problem was solved!!! Jagged hair (laughs). (It’s due to him having short hair, right?) I apologise for never grasping the true form of his hair, right up to the end.

SERIZAWA KATSUYA

Translated previously here.

--

Twitter crosspost here.

Season 1 notes here.

[callistochan87]

Staring at Earthia’s earlier design sheets for too long had me like

Me: Discordia’s design sure does look a lot like the Starlights.

Also me, knowing I will put effort into the stupid idea: Yeah, it sure does.

(I’m just mad I screwed up inking her face so badly compared to the sketch. it’s what I get for colouring on Bristol board (because it takes ink well) which isn’t as transparent as paper, and also my hand-eye coordination has apparently gone to hell)

Also I vaguely seem to remember once--maybe not now, but once--Helians were described as seeming very tall or elongated and/or slender compared to humans? Am I wrong? I’m wrong, but I wanted to play with proportions a bit and the Helians look just alien enough that I could do that, or I could if these were my characters. I did that with the original designs of the angels in SE, but that doesn’t really count because they’re canonically 12-14 feet tall so of course they look elongated next to a human. Wanted to try the same concept with characters closer in height to humans, since Aerona isn’t that much taller than Kai.

Although I see I went with the 9-heads-high example for the angel children (and 10 for the adults) so it’s not out of the realm of possibility. anyway these aren’t my characters, but that has stopped me zero times, alaso the end result isn’t so much unsettling as it is kinda hilarious. Sure, if you look at just the arms (the worst part), they do seem weirdly long, and Kai, as the human example, does look a bit stumpier by comparison, but using 9-heads-tall leads to the head size being proportionally smaller.

I suppose that means Kai and all the other aliens modelled off the purely human template might seem like giant-headed stumpy Neanderthals as far as the Helians are concerned, but like, Aerona’s teeny head and thin limbs (I was trying to go for a Disney look, with a very thin waist and narrow shoulders, but my sense of proportion got in the way) just seem hilarious by comparison, probably because the Helians would be the only ones like that. like, come on, Aerona looks like she’s bout to tell Obi-Wan 200,000 units are ready with a million more well on the way

also before i put hair on her she kind of looked like a deer. dunno if it’s the new ears (different from the way I usually drew them) or the horns, or the giant eyes and skinny limbs but it was a bit unsettling

Also can you just imagine how screwed the rest of the galaxy in the earthia-verse would be? The Helians always were the more ‘dominant’ of the three species in their system as far as I could tell, even more so that now all three species share a planet in this new version, if they made everything (clothes, etc.) to Helian proportions and not human it’d be just different enough to be a pain in the ass for literally everyone else. maybe that’s why the Aeolians and the Nereids go for the draped clothing look, a million years ago the Helians gifted them clothing and there was no way this weirdly skinny long tube thing was gonna fit, they had to take some seams out and tie them back together just to get them on, Helians just thought maybe the wings got in the way, or maybe they hadn’t figure out the whole ‘sewing’ thing yet

also also not sure why her legs don’t seem as long as her arms, but then again I put little effort into this, so it’s possible if I played with the proportions a bit more it might not be so bad, but these aren’t my characters so i don’t feel like expending that level of effort, as evidenced by how Kai looks like I stopped trying halfway through, because I did (her legs are like...going way the hell off to one side).

was this worth an entire doodle and not just a what if in my head? i mean probably not, but here we are

[carryonmywaywardwriters]

One Day At A Time - Jensen x Reader

A/N: Part Three! If you’d like to be tagged, please sent an ask or message. As always, feedback is incredible. And, I hope you all enjoy <3

PSA: I am NOT a minor friendly blog. If you are below 18, please come back when you’re older. I don’t want to lose my blog because you were too eager to grow up. If I discover you, I WILL block.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Widower!Jensen. Grieving process. Age Gap. Character pregnancy. Unrequited feelings. Online personality problems. Guilt. I believe that is all.

Word Count: Roughly 2,700

“Hi, there,” The woman giggled into the mic as Jensen played up the flirty eyebrow bounce and cheesy smile that would be cast over Tumblr within twenty four hours.

He was finished after that final panel, for the trip. Nothing sounded better than a hot shower and catching some sleep. His mind was still reeling from the news he'd been given that morning, but he couldn't focus on that. So, he buried himself behind that charming persona he'd created.

“Dude, leave her alone...she wants me,” Jared smoothed his thick, long, chestnut locks in a way that caused thirsty cries from all around. He cackled as his friend mock frowned his way; unimpressed at the turn of attention. Earning the familiar high pitched laugh from the crowd in front of them.

It was easy to play into their hands. To take the nerves that came with being shy and put it towards acting like a dork with his best friend. He appreciated the disguise more than he'd ever say. Letting it mask the worry and fear he could feel churning inside of him when it was too quiet for long.

“Actually, my question is for Jensen-”

“Ha!” The mentioned man in question leaned forward at the barked utterance, pretending to gloat. Smugly bouncing his brows at Padalecki.

With a deep, regretful sigh, the taller of the two settled back in his chair; wrapping his arms around the back of it as he sat in reverse, “Okay, I guess.” The over dramatically stated words were coupled with a theatrical sulk that drew forth more giggles.

“I was wondering if Y/N and the kids are enjoying the trip to San Diego,” It was no secret that his family had been flocked around him. Until now, that is. The way he paused at that had every eye present turning towards him.

“Uh, actually...” He forced his lips to stay upright. “They're back home, right now.” Concerned 'awes' filled the air. “No, no. It's okay. They're living it up.” Jared turned his gaze back to the man he'd been brothers with for almost two decades. Not buying into the idea that he was really alright with it. “Last time I checked, they were having some kinda dance party. Again.” The way he clenched his teeth relaxed the fans a bit. An over emphasized grimace always seemed to break the mood. “It was wild. There was pink everywhere and a herd of little girls shouting to music.”

“Odette was leading the charge on the one I got,” The taller man joined in, having received his own recording. “Kicked Zeppelin over to my place for an old fashioned dinosaur night with the boys.” More awes filled the air.

“Y/N sent you something? I thought you two still weren't talking after you tried to drown her?” His brow crooked, finding something he could latch onto. Knowing that his friend had delivered that ammo on purpose. He really did love the moose.

“I can explain!” Jared held up his hand towards the 'ooohs,' and then stopped. “No... no, I can't.” His head dipped in false shame, earning another set of rambunctious chuckles.

“I can.” Jensen easily took over. Turning to better face the crowd now that he'd successfully maneuvered around the original question. “This guy tortures my nanny. She's like the female version of Misha to Jared. It's endless.” The mentioned man's lips screwed up as he nodded proudly, accepting the label that was thrown onto you. “So, we were at a cookout over at his place. I'm flipping burgers and relaxing with a beer. You know...like a normal person.” His words only made his friend shrug. Zero shame in sight. “Next thing I know? She's screeching as he full on tosses her into the pool.”

“She called me old!” The roar that followed was deafening. “See? They get it!” He beamed at the response only serving to make Jensen over-exaggerate the roll of his green eyes. “And, it worked. What did she say after?”

“You're a child.” The admission was straightforward.

“Meaning that I'm young, and that she was wrong.” A round of applause made him get to his feet, and bow as the widower shook his head in mock shame. Cracking his own grin.

The mic was lifted back to Jensen's lips, “Dude...you started a war because she told the truth?” He knew what had been said, but the crowd was eating it up. Keeping him safe for a little while longer.

“That hurts...” A pat to the heart was thrown in. “That hurts me right there.”

“The kids all joined in. It was chaos.” Ackles explained the previous comment to the women, with a few men scattered here and there. “My kids and Y/N versus his herd and him. We needed an ark to get to the tables. They soaked everything.” His hand panned across the people in front of him, emphasizing how far the damage had spread. “Everything. Gen thought they were going to kill each other.” Jared cackled. Remembering the look on his wife's face. “Y'all know how we had to stop pranking each other, right? 'Cause it was so deadly? That's what they should be doing. Instead, she's become this...epic battle partner. I'm thinking they'll start the next apocalypse before this is over.” A proud nod confirmed it. Jared wouldn't give in until the world ended. Or, he had to go back to work. Whichever happened first.

“Do you prank Y/N?” Someone shouted, catching his attention.

“Do I... Do I prank her? Are you kidding? Do I look stupid?” More laughs filled the air as he shuddered something fierce. “Misha? Absolutely. He doesn't fight back.” His fingers tacked off each point. “He doesn't live in my house. Doesn't hang out with my kids. I like not having to worry about her sicking my spawn on me in retaliation. They'd do it in a heart beat, too.” And most importantly, it kept the professional barriers somewhat in place. “Yeah, no, Y/N and I don't....we're not...” Weren't anything other than co-parents, employer and employee, and almost friends in an odd sort of way. How's that for complicated?

“As fun as I am,” Jared finished, saving him, again. Hoping that the fans wouldn't take that last statement as he had started to. He covered his own look of interest before diving back into the panel. “Now, that we went way off topic....who's next?”

–

“How did the 'mom' thing even start?” You asked in confusion, scrolling through your Instagram notifications. Your feet thrown over the back of the couch as you sprawled. Making yourself quite at home in the Ackles house. The selfie you'd posted while cleaning the damage the girls had caused was packed.

Not that you weren't used to it by that stage. The moment Danneel had tagged you in a post, it had been over. You'd been stalked and fawned over by some. When she passed? You'd been flocked for updates about the Ackles family.

It had taken a year for you to gather the courage to begin posting again. Once you did? The fandom clung to you for offering small pieces of what life was like inside the Ackles' household. Needing to have that sense of closeness to the supernatural family, still, even with a member gone.

The simple image of you with Oscar resting his head on your lap as you sorted the makeup away had garnered the usual 'queen', 'mom', and 'I love yous' mixed with the occasional trash talker. Once Jensen had commented saying he wanted his dog back when he got home? It had grown worse. When you told him that he'd have to fight you for the golden doodle? The post had blown up. The fans demanding to know if you and him had something going on.

Apparently his panel had only cemented the idea, somehow. You hadn't watched it. Leaving you to only wonder what he'd said to garner that response. Sure it had simply been taken out of context.

You scrolled on, determined to find some answers. A few flicks of your fingers and fate intervened. The phone slipped to your face. Making you wince all the while. As if life had directly told you that social media was bad for your health.

With a sigh, you tossed your phone to the couch. Trying to not let the extreme Danneel and Jensen fans get under your skin. Too many 'you'll never be her' comments filled your mind. More than enough 'stop trying to take her place' had you questioning where you stood. You were doing everything you could to get what was needed done while not dancing on your deceased friend's toes.

Did the world really not understand? Were you really any better off than they suggested? The small crush said you weren't.

“No idea,” Genevieve stated seriously, walking towards the grey couch you were occupying with a pile of healthy snacks loaded up. Pulling you from the internal struggle. She'd been extra conscious of what she was putting into her body since she'd discovered the newest pregnancy. “I just kinda...roll with it.”

She and the kiddos were bunking with you. Tag teaming was so much simpler when the baby exhaustion hit. And it gave the both of you some grownup time together when the men were away.

“It's so strange,” You picked up one of the grapes with your fingers before plopping it in your mouth. Giving up on trying to understand the fact that you'd become an icon of sorts- and the ramifications- for simply nannying some, albeit great, kids.

At your friend's next words, you choked, “So...what's the deal with you and Jensen?”

“It's the same as its always been,” Came the broken words as you got back a hold of yourself. Brushing it off. “Why?”

“Just curious,” That wasn't it. The cool, actress's poker face she wore said as much. But, you were too sensitive to call her out on it, just then. Luckily, she changed gears. “I can't believe that this is it...The last season is being filmed this year.”

The CW had finally pulled the plug on the Winchesters once it had hit adulthood. The boys had found out in a meeting that morning. They'd known it was coming. Had even agreed to it. And yet? Hearing the finality of it? Was another nail in the coffin.

“Eighteen seasons...It's crazy.” Your hand ran through your hair as you looked at the old episode on screen. Sister Jo stood off against Michael!Dean. The tension in the scene was palpable. It didn't hurt to watch it, anymore. Instead, you focused on the fact that she'd been doing what she loved with the man she'd been head over heels for. “How's Jared holding up?”

“He's zeroed in on the kids. Telling himself that it's going to be good for us in the end.” Her hand rubbed over her still flat stomach. “But, he's definitely feeling it. He's been Sam for so long... Saying goodbye is hard.”

“That it is,” You agreed, frowning at the screen. Wondering how Jensen was taking the day.

He hadn't said a thing to you when he'd checked in. Simply had asked for an update on the household before he crashed. Dean had become his crutch. Without the Winchester in his life, you weren't quite sure what he'd do with himself.

Ackles had a passion for directing and acting. There was no doubt about it. But, Supernatural had become everything when his life had turned upside down. It had given him the consistency he'd needed to get through. And while things had been okay for a time? It would be just another major thing he was losing.

Your socked foot rubbed over the soft fur of Icarus. The cockapoo was up there in age. He'd been diagnosed with congestive heart failure at sixteen years old. The white, fifteen pounds of floof didn't let it deter him, though. A couple of pills a day kept him comfortable and loved for as long as he could be. But, it had gotten under Jensen's skin, too.

It made your stomach churn to think about how fast the negative could pile up on already weakened shoulders. And yet, he wanted you to step back. Having time away from him had cleared your head. Allowed you to see his side of things. Maybe it was time to give him some room to breathe. To let him process everything on his own. After all, you were just the nanny...

–

“Dad!” Three voices shouted in unison when the door opened. Ditching their place at the table as Jensen stumbled in with a wide smile on his face. Each kid got a big hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

When they tried to talk over each other, he slowed them down, gently with a, “One at a time.” And, miraculously? It worked. He was informed of everything he'd already had reported to him. Only this time? In child perspective. Which made it dramatic. Completely over the top. Just the way he liked it.

A nod your way was all you received as you slipped past the scene; lifting his bag for him so that no one tripped over it. Including the bumbling dog that was trying to get a kiss in, himself. Oscar had missed his human while he'd been gone.

The dog had been with Danneel's brother during her last pregnancy. She'd been too sick to handle the energetic buffoon while Jensen had been away, filming the show. Gino had fallen in love with the pup. Keeping him...until he thought Jensen needed him more. Returning him back to the Ackles' home solemnly. Oscar had, once again, latched back onto the head of the house with a fierce loyalty that most wouldn't expect from a fluffed up mixed breed. The affection was mutual. Jensen's hand stilled the squirming beast with a simple pet to the top of his curled head as you left the chaos.

Jensen's room was clean. A feat that wouldn't last long once he started unpacking. Bed made up, clothes lined nice and neat, with just a hint of his cologne still lingering in the air from before he'd left. You dropped the duffle on the mattress and turned away. Only to catch sight of the image beside his pillow. It held the dogs, his wife, and the kids all surrounding him. Everything he loved in one picture. His family.

Slowly, you slid the door shut and returned back to the reunion, “Dinner's ready if you're hungry.” You smiled softly at the way he ensured each kid knew that they were loved before climbing back up to his feet. Lumbering after you to get the food while it was still hot.

“Spaghetti,” The actor rumbled in excitement, sniffing the air as he approached the table. His lips smacked hungrily. He was a sucker for a pasta with a good meat sauce. “The wardrobe ladies are gonna be mad at me, later, but I'm piling it up.” He hadn't exaggerated. The flight had left him hungry. “God, this is good.” Came the Dean-like groan as he chowed down. Forgetting that he didn't have to eat like a man who had lived off of nothing more than pizza and beer.

“Dad!” The tiny, disapproving tone left J.J with ease. “You're not supposed to talk with your mouth full.”

He gulped down the food, and smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, J-bird.”

“It's okay. Just try to remember,” The words were so Danneel that you couldn't help but to smile gently at them. She was going to be trouble as she continued to age. But, you had faith she'd be pretty great in the end. Hell, they all would if the night was any indication.

If he was upset about the show ending, he didn't show it. Even after the kids retired for the night and he helped clean up, he didn't say a word. The only thing you got was a pat on the back and a low “goodnight” that made your skin prickle before you returned your own.

Part Four

ODAAT: @winchester-ofthe-lord​​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @ima-be-a-mongoose​ @briagallen​

Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278​​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​​

Forever: @dean-winchesters-bacon​​ @supernaturalginger​​ @lilulo-12​​​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ @malfoysqueen14​​​  @michealneedssomemilk

[sides-of-demigods]

The Tide Has Turned Pt. 1

Word Count: 2,062

Warning(s): Just the usual fighting and cursing, infirmary/hospital, blood/ichor, Unsympathetic Remus, mentions of injuries

Author’s Note: Okay, so unless Tumblr decides to fuck with me, this should end up being three parts. I’ll let you know if anything changes. ALSO! Asks for characters will be closed until the third part is published, in order to not accidentally mess with the plot. But asks for me are open as usual! Title taken from Empires by Ruelle, I highly recommend you listen to that while reading this.

Part 2, Part 3

Virgil could hardly believe he had ended up in this situation.

Here he was, in the middle of the woods on his way to fight Roman’s completely deranged sort-of-twin brother, who knew he was coming, with nothing but his shield and his boyfriend’s enchanted sword. Oh, and two gods, one of which was almost guaranteed to be his father. Even better, since one was his father, no one but Virgil could get anywhere near them because they’d be completely consumed with fear. So Virgil was completely on his own. Great. He loved this.

His hold on Roman’s sword reflexively tightened as he thought about what was waiting for him ahead. At the moment it was in its single sword form, which was at least similar to Virgil’s own sword. But he’d trained with all the forms of Roman’s sword, so at least he had options. The grip, while unfamiliar, was familiar enough that it comforted Virgil. The faint golden glow, rather than the bronze of Tempest, helped as well, almost letting him believe Roman was walking next to him.

He just really didn’t want to face this alone. Hell, he’d even take Dennis, and the two of them had always been tense. But as he drew closer and felt his father’s power grow, he decided that he would take anything, tension be damned. It seemed like he was drawn to the epicenter of the fear, which he really didn’t want to think about, but at least he wasn’t searching blindly. After a few minutes of following the aura, Virgil realized where he was headed. Of course, they would. Hiding out at Zeus’s fist was a whole new level of irony; Virgil might even call it a mockery. Not for nothing, but he knew the area. That was something.

As he approached, the brush and trees around him began to thin out until the treeline ended altogether for one of the few landmarks in these gods forsaken woods. Well, he supposed they weren’t gods forsaken anymore. He ducked behind one of the thick bushes, shushing the confused dryad. She huffed in annoyance but thankfully disappeared when she saw what he was looking at.

In the middle of the clearing was the infamous pile of boulders the campers referred to as Zeus’s fist. You could only see the fist at a certain angle though, and Virgil wasn’t there. Remus was prancing around as much as he could on top of the boulders, kicking his leg out with each step. Virgil couldn’t see it clearly through the branches, but Remus was clutching something in his hand that Virgil thought maybe looked like some kind of spellbook. He could even guess it was the same one the son of Eris had used to fucking brainwash Dennis.

Speaking of Eris, he assumed that the woman leaning against the boulders with her arms crossed was the goddess herself. She had long hair falling down her back, all the way to the backs of her knees, and it was so dark that it almost looked purple. She was definitely tall, at least half a foot taller than Virgil, and he was 6’3”. But she was a goddess, so he didn’t know what he was expecting. She had a headdress composed of black spikes, and she was wearing a black and purple…garment that was some sort of combination of a toga and a dress. ((It's a long, one shoulder drape dress, Virgil is just stupid)).

The other person he recognized immediately as his father. He'd appeared to Virgil before, years ago, a little while after Virgil got claimed. Phobos could obviously appear however he wanted, but he usually decided to look like a teenager or young, which was kinda weird for Virgil considering his father looked barely older than him. He knew that Phobos's eyes were fiery and red and looking into his eyes could induce fear, but he was wearing sunglasses over them. Other than that he had a red bandana and leather jacket, with a white t-shirt, ratty jeans, and combat boots. Considering Remus's black jeans, red and green hair, and bright orange camp shirt, they were certainly an eclectic bunch.

"Why are we waiting," Phobos whined, turning to face Eris. "Let's just do the spell now."

"Because," Eris said, her patience so incredibly fake it was almost condescending like she was placating a small child. "Remus doesn't have the power to pull off the spell on his own, and the two of us can't cast it because you need mortal blood. So he needs more power. We need to wait until the sun is in the right position so we can transfer our power to him. Unless you have a random demigod I can drain it out off with that spell I cast earlier."

"Well my son is hiding in the bushes," Phobos shrugged nonchalantly but Virgil's went wide. Oh shit. He'd completely forgotten! Phobos could sense fear, and Virgil's ability to project it meant he always had a bit of an aura. If he got close then his father could literally sense him. "Come on out, Virgil."

Shit shit shit shit shit. He couldn't think of any other way out of this, and there was no point in angering the immortal beings any more than he was going to soon. He slowly walked out into the clearing, Roman's sword in a death grip as his eyes flitted to each of the people around him. Remus jumped down from the boulder pile and skipped over to Virgil.

"Well it is about time you got here," Remus scoffed. Gods, Virgil had not missed his annoying voice at all. "It's rude to keep people waiting."

"You were waiting for me?" Virgil asked before he could stop himself.

"Well yeah." Remus rolled his eyes. "We knew you'd end up coming alone if we played our cards right, and we needed another half-blood. For a while there though, we thought you weren't going to show! But now you're here and we can get this show on the road!"

"Excuse me?" Virgil pushed out through a clenched jaw. Remus didn't really think Virgil was going to help them, did he?

"Come on kiddo," Phobos said. Virgil got the distinct feeling he was rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. "Just let Eris transfer your power to Remus."

"I am not going to help you." Virgil shook his head. Remus took a step closer, so Virgil could touch him if he reached out and it took everything in Virgil to not take a step back.

"Listen here kiddo," Phobos said and began to come towards Virgil. "I get you're in your rebellion phase and I look pretty young, but I am still your father."

"No, you're not," Virgil countered. "You might have contributed to my existence and be the reason I have these powers, but you have NEVER been my father. I stopped being your son a long time ago. And I will not help you!"

Virgil lunged forward and grabbed Remus's head, forcing the boy to look him in the eyes. He didn't like to use this power because in his opinion it was cruel and unnecessary, but he had no such reservations for Remus after everything he'd done. He focused his power and narrowed in on the dark corners of Remus's mind where his pain and fears lied. He grabbed hold of the darkest, most intense feeling of fear he could find and dragged it to the forefront of Remus's mind, forcing him to vividly and realistically experience his absolute worst fear. He drew it out as long as he could before he felt a hand seize his upper arm and force him off of Remus.

Once Virgil regained his bearings he saw Eris bearing furiously down at him. She felt her wicked nails cutting into his flesh and he hissed in pain. He hit her across the face with his shield as hard as he could and she stumbled back. Remus was on the ground on his hands and knees, breathing heavily and seemingly completely unaware of his surroundings. Virgil spotted the spellbook on the ground next to Remus and lunged for it. Suddenly his father was between him and the book, charging at Virgil with his sword drawn.

Virgil raised his shield and the sword glanced off the black metal harmlessly, making Phobos growl low in his throat. Phobos was fast, and Virgil didn't have time to react before there was a hand wrapped around his throat and hoisting him into the air.

"I'm getting real sick of that shield," Phobos declared. He grabbed Virgil's shield with his free hand and yanked it off his arm before throwing it clear across the clearing. This was not going well for him.

Virgil raised his sword but Phobos grabbed that arm too and held it in place. Virgil scrabbled at the hand slowly squeezing tighter and tighter around his neck but couldn't escape the hold with one hand. Except he had more to work with. He managed to angle the sword and prayed that it was right. He watched his father quirk his head in confusion as he heard the prayer and Virgil smirked. With a though, suddenly the sword in Virgil's hand was Roman's signature double-bladed sword, with one of the blades in Phobos's shoulder.

The god cried out in pain and dropped Virgil, who dropped to his knees and instinctively reached up to his own throat. He drew in deep, gasping breaths to try to regain the air he'd lost. The black spots slowly disappeared from his vision as he watched Phobos back away and clutch his shoulder, golden ichor spilling from the wound. He couldn't help feeling satisfaction at that. Virgil forced himself back to his feet and saw Remus doing the same a bit further away. He had to get that spellbook and destroy it. He shifted his center of gravity to accommodate for the new balance of the sword and stared down Phobos, who was still in his way.

The two engaged in battle again, the ringing of their swords clashing echoing across the clearing. Phobos thrust his sword forward and Virgil dodged to the side, but Phobos was ready for that. He spun around, using the momentum to swing his sword down at Virgil's head, which he just barely managed to block with the middle of the sword. Phobos kept pressing down and Virgil found his arms trembling, not a match for Phobos's godly strength. Time to get creative again. Virgil shifted his feet and transformed the sword again, this time splitting into two separate swords, which left the air under Phobos's sword empty. Virgil swiftly sidestepped the blade as he changed his, so Phobos stumbled past him. He kicked his back while he was still off-balance, sending him to the ground.

"Come on dad, don't be stupid," Virgil chided him. "Just stay down and let me take care of this!"

Virgil was so focused on his father that he had completely forgotten about Eris. She grabbed his face from behind and he cried out as her own powers forced their way into him. He closed his eyes and stumbled back, but Eris went with him. He could feel himself growing weak like his power or energy was being drained from him.

"Remus do it now!" Virgil heard Eris scream. Oh fuck, she wasn't draining his power, she was transferring it to Remus so he could perform whatever doomsday spell he was planning. Shit!

"Aperire portae ad inferna," Remus began to chant. "Uti in amatum in quantum per ostium. minuo mortale hoc mundo ad tartarus!"

Virgil flipped his swords around in his hands and jabbed them backward, slicing open Eris's thighs. Her grip faltered and he elbowed her in the face to get her to completely let go before dashing a few steps away from her. He'd escaped her hold, but it was too late. Remus had finished his spell. The spell was in Latin, not Greek, so Virgil had no clue what Remus had just done, and he didn't like that at all. He fell into a defensive position and braced himself for whatever was about to go down. But then a moment passed and nothing had happened. For just a second, Virgil wondered if the spell hadn't worked. Then the ground started to shake.

[gumnut-logic]

We’ll Be Home For Christmas 4.2

Title: We’ll be home for Christmas

Day Four – Five Billionaires and No Wives – Part 2 Prologue | 1.1 | 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 4.1

Author: Gumnut

29 Jan – 11 Feb 2020

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way.

Word count: 2951

Spoilers & warnings: language and so, so much fluff. Science!Gordon. Artist!Virgil, Minor various ships, mostly background.

Timeline: Christmas Season 3, I have also kinda ignored the main storyline of Season 3. The boys needed a break, so I gave them one. Post season 3B, before Season 3C cos we haven’t seen it yet.

Author’s note: For @scattergraph. This is my 2019 TAG Secret Santa fic :D

I’m still writing this, I promise :D I hope you enjoy this bit.

Many thanks to @vegetacide and @scribbles97 for cheering me on and their wonderful support through this craziness. And to @onereyofstarlight for geeking out with me over the setting.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

 Scott was angry.

He strode down the beach looking for his missing brother and fumed. He had finally been able to relax, finally been able to let go and now Virgil pulls a disappearing act.

Sure, Virgil was a grown man and he could look after himself, but Scott would always be his big brother, always look out for him, always worry about him.

Black sand kicked up as his toes hit a small drift and he stumbled. It brought him to a sudden stop and he found himself standing in the middle of an isolated beach fuming at the sand.

Who was he kidding?

And what the hell was he doing?

He dropped his hands to his knees and stood there bent in half, just breathing. The Virgil in the back of his head...because yes, there was one who sat beside both the Mom and the Dad in the back of his head...it was a crowded space...raised an eyebrow.

He was over reacting, wasn’t he?

Scott let out a breath and cursed the sand beneath him before pushing himself upright and continuing his slog down the beach. He would just be happier with Virgil in sight.

The Virgil in his head rolled his eyes.

Yeah, well, it’s my prerogative as your big brother.

The beach curved slightly, which explained why Virgil was likely out of sight, but Scott discovered his brother’s detritus before he found the missing man.

Discarded red flannel shouted amongst the greens and greys surrounding a small steaming spring. Footprints led to it and then away. Scott’s eyes tracked the direct line to the water...

“Virgil, what the hell?!”

His brother was almost waist deep in the surf, each wave battering at him as it rolled in. Apart from the fact the idiot wasn’t supposed to submerge his incisions in the water, what the hell was he doing?! “Virgil?!”

Unable to hear Scott above the surf, his brother continued to stare out to sea. As if to taunt Scott, he took another step deeper.

Scott cursed and shed his shirt and shoes, dumping them beside the red flannel, and ran towards the water.

-o-o-o-

Virgil was frustrated.

He could feel the questions, the song in his body, but he had no way to answer. Without the technology to shift his voice to the right frequencies, he wouldn’t be heard. Without amplification, any vocalisations would be muffled by the water.

He so wanted to answer.

The whales knew he was there. They hovered out of reach, beyond the surf line. He hummed deep in his throat, echoing the thrum vibrating through the water. Without thinking, he stepped closer, wanting no more than to be able to reach out and touch.

A large head peered over a dissipating wave and a huge eye latched onto him for only a second before disappearing beneath the surface.

Another step.

A hand landed on his shoulder and gripped hard.

“Virgil, what are you doing?!”

Scott.

Blink.

The thrum stopped and Virgil wilted. His feet shifted as the next wave hit him and he stumbled. Scott grabbed his arms, holding him up. “Virgil?”

“I’m good.” But it was automatic. He realised he was far too deep, his incisions submerged in the water, his heart was pounding and Scott was staring at him with worried eyes.

Another wave hit side on and soaked the both of them. Virgil spat water.

He didn’t get a chance to turn towards shore before Scott was dragging him in that direction. His brother didn’t say anything further, but the grip on his arm was tight and Virgil knew he was going to pay for this.

Fortunately or not, Mel was standing on the shore waiting for them when they finally stepped out of the waves. Her eyes darted back and forth between them, but she didn’t say anything, simply handing the both of them their shirts and shoes and Virgil his phone as well.

“They followed us.”

“Who?” Mel was frowning up at him. Scott’s hand tightened on his arm.

“The whales. The mother and calf. They’re out there.” He pointed out into the bay.

Mel’s frown deepened. “Are you sure? They should be migrating south. They need the feeding grounds. Maybe they are another mum and calf?”

His lack of knowledge slapped him in the face, but something told him it was them. “It was them.”

The frown didn’t disappear, but her gaze did flick to Scott and back. “Okay. We should tell Sam.”

“First we change your dressings.” It was the Commander who spoke and Virgil found himself automatically straightening in response. Hell, even Mel stood taller, her eyes widening as she looked to his brother.

The surf hissed around Virgil’s feet as an extra large wave dissipated on the sand.

Scott hadn’t let go of his arm.

Internally, Virgil sighed. Great. His brother was pissed and stressed again and it was all his fault. His shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry, Scott.”

Blue darted at him and the thin line of his brother’s mouth tightened for a moment before softening. “C’mon.” And he was being led back towards the other end of the beach.

-o-o-o-

The walk back was nowhere near as relaxing as his initial venture down the beach. Scott let go of him eventually, but his eyes hardly left him. Overreaction much?

He would have shouted that he was fine, that he could take care of himself, for crying out loud, but it was so obvious that he had screwed up royally, that he didn’t bother.

To be honest, he was a little freaked himself. He hadn’t intended on going into the water that deep. It wasn’t like he had almost drowned himself, but he had been caught up in an almost thrall in the whales’ voices.

Scott had a right to be at least a little concerned.

Being Scott, he blew a circuit.

And Virgil wrecked three solid days of his attempt to get the man to wind down.

He spent the walk back mentally kicking himself.

Gordon strode up grinning, but that grin faltered badly when he caught sight of Scott’s expression. Virgil saw the moment the dots connected and his fishy brother’s shoulders dropped. John’s reaction was less obvious, but his frown at Virgil’s soaked appearance was pretty clear.

Sam, somewhat clueless, bounced up all grins and smart comments. Liam was a little more sensitive to the situation and grabbed his husband by the scruff of his neck.

Suffice it to say that the party packed up and climbed back up the hill rather quickly. Scott on Virgil’s heels the entire way.

The damned hill he had to climb didn’t help and by the time they made it to the island’s small infirmary, Virgil was tired and frustrated.

The finger that pointed him to the examination table was firm. Mel had made herself scarce. His brothers had quite willingly fed him to the wolf once they found out why Virgil was being glared at by his older brother.

Of course, nothing was stopping Gordon and Sam from locating those whales now they knew they were there and John was roped into helping with Five. They had all found a decent excuse to run off.

So, the two brothers were left alone in the infirmary with plenty of time to ‘talk’.

Initially, Scott was silent, his actions abrupt and precise as he removed Virgil’s old and now sodden dressings, exposing his stitches to the air. The incisions were actually quite small, thank goodness for keyhole surgery, but they cut through his abdominal wall and messed with his movement.

His brother wiped him down with antibacterial solution. “You better hope you haven’t caught yourself an infection.” The tone was cold.

“I will be fine.”

“How do you know that?” Scott stopped and glared at him. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I’m fine, Scott.” The problem was he hadn’t been thinking.

The dressings were ripped out of their packaging rather vehemently and Scott’s ministrations, while gentle, were sharp and vibrating with suppressed anger.

“You do know I can do that myself.”

Scott stopped what he was doing. His shoulders dropped and his eyes closed. His sterile and gloved hands hovered in the air as if lacking direction. He didn’t say a thing.

Virgil struggled to push himself into a seated position, levering his feet off the bed, grabbing his brother’s arm. “Scott-“

“Why?” Blue eyes opened and were actually pleading at him. “Of all of them, I trust you the most to not do something stupid.”

“What? So, I got my dressings wet. It’s not a big deal.”

“Virgil-“

“I’m fine. Quit worrying so much.” He grabbed his brother’s arms and squeezed gently. “Take a breath.”

“Virg-“

“Stop. Take a breath.”

Fire ignited in those blue eyes, but Scott stopped.

Air whistled across his teeth.

“Now. I’m sorry I apparently vanished. I was not aware I couldn’t be seen. I’m sorry I got my dressings wet. I was distracted.” Very distracted. Zombified was a more apt description. “But I can look after myself. You don’t have to worry so much.”

“You’re my brother.” It was a simple sentence, but it said so much. “Now lie down so I can make sure your wounds are properly protected.”

Virgil sighed, his own shoulders dropping in parody of his brother’s moments ago. But he didn’t lie down.

Instead he looked up at his brother and drew him into a hug. “I’m okay, Scott. I promise. It was nothing. It was stupid. I’m fine.” Please calm down.

Scott’s arms curled around him, sterile hands still held out awkwardly, but the man said nothing.

“You need to relax.”

“I was relaxed until you up and disappeared.”

“I went for a walk.”

“Into the damned ocean.”

“I was looking at the whales.”

“You didn’t hear me. I called you repeatedly.”

“I was focussed on their song.”

Scott pulled away and stared down at him. “They were singing? I didn’t hear anything.”

“You can’t hear most of it. It is below our hearing range.”

“Then how?”

“I could feel it.” His whole body was the receiver.

Scott eyed him a moment before swallowing and grabbing a new dressing. “Lie down.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and did as he was asked. Scott finished his administrations quickly and quietly.

“I want you to go to bed and rest while we pack to leave.”

“Scott-“

A hand came up. “No. You do stupid things, you give me this.”

Virgil sighed. “Fine.”

His brother helped him up again and off the bed before letting him go.

Virgil left him putting away equipment, making his way out the door and down the steps. Okay, if he was honest, all that walking, more than he had done for days, not to mention that blasted hill down to the beach, had taken a lot out of him.

And the song...

Kind hands helped him the last two steps onto the grass, John still sporting that frown. Great another brother he had to convince yet again he wasn’t dying.

“I’m okay, John.”

Turquoise flashed in the sunlight. John’s voice was quiet, but firm. “We know that. But you have to understand, you scared us. You folded while flying. What would have happened if you had been flying alone? Could you have made it home?”

Virgil froze. The sun was warm, but he felt chilled. “I would have done my best.”

“We know that. But you scared us. You scared Scott. Satisfy our need for reassurance.” An indrawn breath. “Especially Scott.”

A stare was the only reply Virgil could manage at first. Quiet. “Okay.”

John’s smile was small, but fond. His hand landed on Virgil’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “Now, go rest. No doubt what he told you to do.”

A resigned nod.

“I’ll take on ‘the Commander’.” John sighed quietly. “Don’t disappear again.”

“I won’t.”

His shoulder was squeezed once more and let go, John stepped gracefully up the steps and vanished into the infirmary.

Virgil let out a breath.

Well, shit.

Guess he was ‘resting’ for the next hour or so at least. Resigned, he turned and headed off to the hostel.

-o-o-o-

John watched as Scott put away the last of the extra dressings. His brother knew he was there, he had no doubt of that, but neither said a thing.

Eventually Scott finished up, straightened and turned to face John. “What?”

“You’re going to have to back off.”

“Why?”

“You’re hovering like a distressed parent. Virgil is a grown man. Sure, he did something stupid, but this is the brother who throws himself through walls into burning buildings on a regular basis. He had appendicitis. He had surgery. He is recovering.” Eyebrows for emphasis. “You’re overreacting.”

“He was alone on a beach, waist deep in surf and walking deeper. It was like he didn’t know what he was doing!”

John flashed back to the day before when Virgil had sung to the whales. It had been worrisome.

“We will keep an eye on him. But back off.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not responsible-“

“Bullshit, Scott.” He took a step forward. “I send all of you into danger, everyday! Don’t you lecture me on guilt!”

“I’m in command.”

“You’re on vacation!” He drew in a breath and forced his calm facade into place. What was it with Scott that messed with his control so much?

Family knew how to press all the buttons.

“I am responsi-“

“No, you’re not.”

“John-“

“We are all adults here. Yes, even Allie.” And he said it with sadness. “You need to relax. This isn’t good for you.”

“Yes, everyone says that. ‘Relax, Scott, put your feet up.” He waved a careless hand. “You’re on vacation. It never stops, John. Never! I’m still responsible. It all comes down to me.”

A sigh. “It really doesn’t.”

Scott stared at him.

“We are responsible for ourselves.”

“John-“

“I guess from my perspective, it looks different, but I have to trust my brothers know what they are doing. I can’t reach out a hand to catch them. I have to trust them.” He straightened a little. “You have to trust, Scott.”

“I do trust you.”

“Do you really? Do you think Virgil really would have drowned himself?”

Scott opened his mouth, but frowned instead.

John pushed the point. “Do you really think Virgil has lost his mind enough to voluntarily injure himself?”

“Well, no.”

“When he vanished on the beach, did you think he was in danger?”

“I...well, maybe...” A blink. “Okay, no, not really, I just...am used to being in direct communication with all of you and he wasn’t answering. What am I supposed to think?”

John had to concede that Scott had a point. They were spoilt with the ability to contact each other on whim. Virgil obviously hadn’t thought of that when he removed his shirt and left his phone behind. “You have to trust that Virgil will be okay. That he can handle himself.”

Scott made a disgusted sound and threw himself into a chair, rubbing a hand over his face. “Easier said than done.”

John grabbed another chair and sat down opposite his big brother. “You do it every time we go out on a rescue. You do if for me all the time I’m on Five.”

“Yeah.” But it was a mocking sound.

“You have to let go.”

“I can’t! You’re my brothers!”

Different tactic. “Do you have any idea what you did to all of us those first few years after Dad went missing?”

Scott’s head came up, his eyes wide. “What?”

“You went nuts. Taking horrible risks. Virgil was beside himself. He ended up on Five terrified we were going to lose you as well as Dad. Did you know that?”

Mouth open. “N-no...”

“He said he spoke to you several times. It wasn’t until the aurora generator incident that you finally started to listen.”

Eyes on the floor, but focussed ever so far away. “He didn’t tell me.”

“Yes, he did. But you weren’t listening. Please listen now.” Another indrawn breath. “We don’t want to lose you, either on a mission or to burnout.”

Ever so quiet, Scott’s entire body slumped into the chair. “Okay.” Whispered. “I’ll try.”

“As for the whales...I think we should throw Virgil at Gordon. He knows what he is doing. We can trust Gordon to keep Virgil safe, can’t we?”

Vulnerable azure glanced up at him. “Yeah.” Back down at the floor. “Yeah, we can.”

John shifted where he sat. There was silence for a moment as he reordered his thoughts to work out a way to draw Scott back out again. The last thing they needed was for him to retreat to nurse his wounds and suffer in silence.

Alone.

“So, you going to dish on what’s happening between you and Mel?”

That startled him. Even a small smile appeared on his brother’s face. “What did you want to know?”

John snorted a little. “Without going into detail, spill, big brother.”

That smile, to John’s relief, widened. “She’s remarkable.”

“And not immune to a little Scott Tracy charm, apparently.”

“Hey, I play to my strengths.”

A soft smile. “Then go play some more while the rest of us pack up.”

“Virgil has gone to rest.”

“I know. Now you go rest and talk to Mel. You’re on vacation.”

His brother’s lips thinned, but he stood up and offered John a hand, catching his eyes.

John took his brother’s hand and found himself drawn into a heartfelt hug. His big brother, holding him tight. “Thanks, John.”

“Anytime.” Scott’s shirt was soft under his cheek. “We’re brothers, remember?”

“Yeah, we are.” His brother drew in a breath.

“We are.”

-o-o-o-

End Day Four, Part Two.

[vaguewrites]

Birthdays

((Cry of Monsters/Afraid of Fear crossover. Very much an au fic where the accident never happened and David and Sophie are siblings. This is so self-indulgent, I just wanted to write the guys on their first kinda date.)) 

Growing up, he never celebrated his birthday much. If his mom remembered, there’d be a store-bought cake on the kitchen table when he got home from school. He can count on one hand the number of times there was a store-bought cake. Sophie tried to celebrate his birthday once, in college, with some cookies she’d made from scratch. They’d burned in the oven and were hard to chew but he ate every single one of them. Then threw up in the bathroom but he never told her that, still hasn’t actually. Doctor Purnell got a good chuckle out of that story, then asked Simon how he felt having his birthday remembered, how it felt to have someone do something nice for him. It didn’t dawn on him until then how many birthdays he’d spent alone, doing nothing and having nothing to look forward to. He’d thought it was normal. 

The year after the cookie incident, Sophie was sick with flu but sent him a happy birthday text. The weekend after that, she invited him out to lunch, but she wasn’t alone. Seeing the guy with her made Simon’s chest clench. He almost wanted to turn heel and go home, maybe tell her he was sick and couldn’t make it, but she caught eyes with him and waved, and he had no choice but to wave back and walk over to them. Each step felt as though he were weighed by bricks, but he forced a smile, dropped his shoulders, and let Sophie introduce him to her… Brother. 

Just her brother. Simon almost sighed with relief, the weight lifted from him almost immediately. The man was about a foot taller than Simon, dressed in a black hoodie and tracksuit and sporting a mean-looking scar dragging down one cheekbone. Simon almost couldn’t believe that he and Sophie were related. She was so soft and sweet, cute too, with mousy brown hair and a button nose, whereas her brother was sharp, hard edges, shaggy red hair and eyes so deep and dark they were almost black. Yet, Simon spent most of that conversation staring at him rather than Sophie. And the guy stared right back. 

“This is David,” Sophie had said, one hand patting the guy… David’s… shoulder, “He’s just on his break. I wanted you to meet him.” 

He didn’t ask at the time, purely because he didn’t want to come across as rude to both her and her brother. But he’d find out a few months later when Sophie told him she was moving. She’d been accepted to a better college, one where she could pursue the courses she really wanted. And she didn’t want Simon to be left alone again. Simon broke down when she told him, he tried getting her to stay, tried to tell her he loved her. Sophie didn’t love him back. 

The next year, on his nineteenth birthday, he took a walk downtown, the night air crisp and cool and quiet. He was alone again, only this time he realized it. And he hated it. He wanted to call Sophie, tell her he was sorry, but what good would that have done? He was a year too late for that. Still, he took out his phone anyway and searched through his pitifully small contact list. His mom was working the night shift, Doctor Purnell told him he could call anytime but Simon didn’t want to bother him this late. That was when he came across the number he’d forgotten he had. David’s. The man had given Simon his number just before he left, telling him to call him sometime. Simon never did. In fact, looking at the number made knots twist in Simon’s stomach. He stood there on the main street, thumb shaking over the “call” button. A car sped past and made him jump, almost dropping his phone. His thumb landed on “call” before he could stop himself and Simon’s heart lurched as his phone rang. Instead of ending the call he stared at the screen, fear, dread, and embarrassment all rolling together in an ugly cocktail of fuck that made Simon want to vomit. His hands were sweating so bad he almost dropped the phone again. Then David answered. 

“Hello?” Oh, God. Simon wanted to hang up. He wanted to hang up so bad and pretend this never happened and go home and crawl under his bed covers and sleep away this shithole day.

“Hey,” he said instead, voice small. 

“...Hello?” David’s voice came again, and Simon’s heartbeat quickened. “I can’t hear you. Who’s this?” 

“Simon… You know… Sophie’s friend.” Simon swallowed thickly. 

David was quiet for a few seconds. “Simon? Yeah, I remember you. Shit, been a while. Uh, how’re you doing?” 

“Okay.” The tension slowly rolled off Simon’s body the more he heard David speak. Even though they’d only spoken once a year ago, the way David was talking to him now was like they were old friends. “Uh… Are you doing anything?” 

“Right now? No. I’m just on my way home from work. Why, did you want to do something?” 

“Maybe. I don’t know.” 

David was quiet again, only this time there was rustling on the other end. “Shit. Sorry, just checking something. Yeah, how about we get something to eat? Do you like pizza?” 

“Y-yeah. Pizza sounds good.” 

“Okay. Where are you? I’m just cutting through the park now.” “Main street. I can meet you there.” 

“Alright. See you.” 

“Bye,” Simon hung up, his heartbeat fluttering. God, what the hell did he just do? His hand shook as it held the phone, damn near dropping it again before shoving it into his pocket. Thoughts of running back home anyway and pretending nothing happened flashed in his mind. And shit, it was tempting. Thinking about meeting up with David, alone, right now had his heartbeat thudding so fast he could feel it in his throat. Fuck, it would’ve been so easy to run away and hide, to ignore David for the rest of his life, but Simon found himself walking towards the park anyway. The streets were empty and a cool wind swept in, rustling the tree branches and making the leaves shiver and dance. He would’ve liked the gentle calmness of it all if it weren’t for the twist in his stomach, both fear and… Excitement? Maybe? All buzzing together in his blood. Hot and cold and terrifying and thrilling and all of it made Simon’s head dizzy. He wasn’t sure what the fuck he felt anymore. 

David stood by the entrance, pizza box in hand, wearing the same hoodie and tracksuit Simon first met him in and puffing on a cigarette. Simon approached slowly, hands shoved in his pockets and hood pulled up. His face burned. 

“Hey,” David said, slow and easy. 

“Hey,” Simon’s voice came out small and weak, he coughed, “Hey.” 

David’s lips quirked at the corners. “Hope you don’t mind pepperoni,” he tapped the box. 

“You got it already?” 

“From work. They didn’t come in for their order so that means one of us gets to take it home. I drew the lucky straw.” 

“Oh.”

David beckoned him to follow, so Simon did, and together they headed to the picnic area inside the park. The benches were old, worn and covered in graffiti, but still better than sitting in wet grass. They ate and talked, well, mostly David talked, about work, his friends, stupid stuff he did when he was a teenager. He was twenty-five, six years older than Simon, and thinking about going back to school and finishing his degree. Sophie was never mentioned once, and Simon couldn’t tell if David was deliberately avoiding the topic. 

Simon mostly listened, sometimes he asked questions, but he didn’t talk about himself much. They were down to their last two slices of pizza and David was handing him a cigarette when it slipped out. 

“It’s my birthday today.” 

David blinked. “Is it?” His fingers brushed Simon’s and they were warm and rough and made Simon’s heartbeat stutter. “Happy birthday!” 

“Thanks,” Simon tried to ignore how cold his hand felt when David pulled away. He lit the end and inhaled the cigarette smoke deeply, let it burn and curl inside his lungs before exhaling slowly. 

“Got any plans?” David asked. 

Simon gestured to the table. 

“This?” David raised a brow. “Well, had I known this was a birthday pizza picnic outing thing, I would’ve brought candles. Maybe a cake.” 

“I don’t like cake,” Simon said, taking another deep drag. 

“What do you like, then?” 

Simon glanced at David and tried to ignore the tingling in his stomach. “Don’t know. Stuff.” 

“Helpful,” David snorted, and Simon couldn’t help but smile back. “All right, next time I’ll bring some stuff and you can decide what you like.” 

“Next time?” Simon’s breath almost caught in his throat. 

“Yeah. Next time,” David smiled again and inhaled from his own cigarette. “Unless you don’t want to.” 

“No… I mean… Maybe?” A questioned gnawed at the back of his skull and it fell out of his mouth before he could reign it in. “Is it a date?” 

David watched Simon carefully as he smoked, those dark eyes seemed so intense but instead of feeling intimidated, Simon only felt warmth. “Depends. Do you want it to be?” 

Simon bit his lip again. “I don’t know. I’ve never… Not with a guy… Or a girl.” 

“I have. With both. Honestly, there’s not much difference to me. But nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to.” 

“I’m not sure…” 

“That’s okay.” 

“No, that’s not… I think I want to but I’m scared. No one has ever made me feel this way, not even-” He almost said Sophie’s name, but bit it back. David tilted his head. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

Simon didn’t reply. He stared down at his hands, feeling stupid and small and pathetic in front of David. Then David’s hand rest on his and gave a gentle squeeze. Simon didn’t pull away. 

“You’re thinking too deeply into this. Nothing serious has to happen. We can keep this light and casual, test the waters you know? And if you’re still confused or uncomfortable we can break it off and just be friends.” 

Simon looked back up to find David watching him earnestly. He smiled, and Simon swallowed nervously before giving a short nod. “Yeah, okay.”

[our-smooty]

While The Moon Still Stands

Murdoc winced at the burning sensation in his throat as he tossed back the remainder of his rum. Moonlight glinted off the amber bottle as he turned it thoughtfully. Would Stu’s eyes be the same shade of amber right now if I hadn’t gotten in the car that day? He felt the sudden urge to watch the bottle explode into a million shards. There was no reason why he couldn’t act on that urge, of course. There was nobody outside with him. With a devilish smirk, Murdoc raised the bottle in the air. “Put that down, Murdoc. You know how Russ is about the shards you leave all over the roof.” That familiar twangy voice rang out behind him. Murdoc turned to see spiky blue hair and deep black eyes staring back at him. “I mean it. Do you really want him to have a go at you again over something stupid like this? Cuz I sure don’t wanna hear it.” 2D stepped out onto the roof, letting the door slam shut behind him. Murdoc rolled his eyes and exaggeratedly set the bottle down. “There, happy?” He snarked back, flicking his tongue out. Unimpressed as always, 2D reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. “Yeah, actually. Got a light?” 2D looked at him expectantly, two cigarettes resting between his fingers. Of course Murdoc had a light. He always had a light. He dug his fingernails into his palm, muttering as the taller man flashed a smug grin. A quick flick of the wrist and the ends of each cigarette were lit. “You’ll have to teach me how you do that someday. Makes for a neat party trick,” 2D chuckled as he relinquished one of the cigarettes. Murdoc smirked as he pressed the cig to his lips and drew in a deep breath. “Well, first you have to make your first contact with Hell,” he chuckled darkly, blowing a steady stream of smoke into the cold night air. His companion fell quiet. Murdoc turned to look at 2D, who had gone rather pale and was now staring in shock at his unsmoked cigarette. “What did you think it was, a sleight of hand?” He joked, nudging him playfully. “It’s magic, you dunce. Come on now, don’t let it go to waste.” “Did you actually sell your soul?” 2D asked suddenly, his eyes now seeming far deeper than they had earlier. Murdoc often found that he could stare into those eyes forever and still always notice something new about them. The way the light hit them, the subtle expressions they played part in, the subtle shift whenever Stuart would roll his eyes. How they would sparkle and shine with excitement, or become dull and lifeless with each barking insult Murdoc threw his way. He found that he much preferred the shine to the emptiness, and had been trying to make Stuart shine more often as of late. But now there was a solemn darkness to them, making his already black eyes darker than the abysmal void Murdoc had stared into all those years ago. He looked away, unable to face the intensity of Stuart’s gaze any longer as he leaned back against the wall and took another long drag. “Yes. I did.” The stars shone so brightly, even through the smoke that surrounded him. 2D leaned against the wall next to him and finally took a drag of his own cigarette before tilting his head thoughtfully. “Was it worth it?” Murdoc froze. “Of course. Wouldn’t have done it unless it was worth it.” He flicked the ash off the end of his cig into a nearby potted plant. Russel would kill him for it later, not that Murdoc gave a shit. “Still have it though, of course. It’s not an upfront payment, you see. More like…well, let’s just say that when I die, I know exactly where I’ll end up this time.” He grinned, staring up at the moon. “No one can change that, no matter how hard they may try. My soul’s got a brand on it, you see. Nobody fucks with Murdoc Niccals now, eh?” He turned to Stuart, who simply raised an eyebrow in confusion. “A brand? On your soul? How’s that work?” Stuart squinted at Murdoc, and Murdoc wasn’t sure if it was because Stuart was trying to stare through him into his soul or if the man simply had the beginnings of a migraine. “The eye is the window to the soul, so they say,” Murdoc replied as he winked with his left eye. Stuart paled. “…branding is like…burning, right? So how…” 2D’s eyes widened in horror. “No.” “Yep.” “No. No way. Holy shit, that-that’s awful!” 2D cried out, tossing away his half-smoked cigarette as he grabbed Murdoc’s shoulder. Murdoc frowned distastefully at the wasted source of nicotine and tried to shake off the tingling feeling in his shoulder from the other man’s touch. “Didn’t hurt like I expected it to. Well, not physically, anyway. Just sorta felt like someone tryna gouge your eye out.” He drew in the last breath from his cigarette before snuffing out the end in the poor plant to his right. “No, the real pain is actually in your soul. It’s quite a blessing that we can’t feel our souls much, you know. If the human body is fragile, then the soul is like glass.” 2D’s hand fell from Murdoc’s shoulder. “…when did you…?” “Remember the night that Noodle recorded you singing the vocals to Gravity?” 2D nodded. “Russ found you passed out on the floor in the basement, shaking like a leaf. You didn’t come out of the Winnie for a week after that.” His eyes widened in realisation. “Wait, that’s when you-“ “Yep. Satan reached through my eye into my soul and branded it. Burned like fire throughout every part of me.” Murdoc shook his head and headed for the balcony. Uneven footsteps from behind signalled that 2D was following. “…Have you ever felt your soul hurt, Stu? It’s like the worst heartache, your worst fears, everything that makes you feel like absolute shit. But that night, it was everything I’ve ever felt, all at once, crashing over me like a tsunami.” He chuckled darkly. “Of course, I deserve nothing less. That’s just a taste of what lies ahead, waiting for me at the end of it all. So you know what?” Murdoc turned to look at Stu, who was visibly biting back apologies and tears. “I’m damn sure gonna get my money’s worth before that happens.” The wind kicked up a bit, tossing about thick strands of soft blue hair. 2D stared silently at Murdoc, tears finally rolling down his cheeks. “Why did you really do it?” He whispered softly, stepping forward and gently putting his hand on Murdoc’s arm. The bassist smiled and wiped away Stuart’s tears with a thumb. “Why do you think? It was for you, dumbass. All of you.” Murdoc turned back around, leaning over the balcony. The shifting shapes in the dark caught the light at odd angles, the sheen of necrotic blood becoming nauseatingly hypnotic. “Your shitty parents sure weren’t gonna let you transition. Russel couldn’t afford therapy for the shit he’s been through. Noodle? Fuck knows what kind of shit she’s seen in her life. We have a great thing going, but it wasn’t gonna pay the bills on its own. Talent isn’t enough in this business, Stuart. We needed a nudge.” “So you sold your soul?” “So I sold my soul.” Murdoc grinned. “Wasn’t using it anyway. Besides, I was already going to hell. Might as well get something out of it, yeah?” He stood upright again and patted 2D on the back. “Don’t think about it too hard, alright? Just be glad it paid the bills and got you your T. Russel’s getting the therapy he needs, Noodle’s getting a good education. Hell, you’ve got that surgery scheduled for next month. Think that would’ve happened if I hadn’t sold my soul? You’d still be skipping meals to save up for it.” 2D grimaced and grabbed Murdoc’s hand. “You didn’t need to do that. We were fine. We would have been fine,” the man pleaded, his eyes glimmering with sadness and regret. Murdoc snorted. “Can’t undo it now.” He gave one last glance at the moon before heading for the door. “C’mon, I need a drink.” 2D tugged on his arm. “Surely there’s something we could do?” “Nope. Why would I want to? I’ve accepted my fate, and to be quite honest with you, it’s quite preferable to the alternative.” Murdoc opened the door and gestured for 2D to enter. The blue-haired man paused, nose scrunched up in confusion. “Heaven?” “No, reincarnation.” Murdoc roughly shoved 2D in ahead of him. “I’ve lived too many lives, Stu. I’m done with it. Bargaining doesn’t work. Being on my best behaviour doesn’t do shit. So maybe being on Satan’s personal torture rack will end the cycle.” “But-“ “No buts, Stu. Keep walking and don’t think about it too much, yeah? I’ve already said more than I should.” Murdoc walked past him, heading for the elevator. 2D sighed and nodded, picking up the pace so as to not be left behind. They entered the elevator together, and Murdoc pressed the button for the ground floor. He wasn’t expecting to feel a large hand slide into his, grasping tightly. A quick glance confirmed that yes, 2D was holding his hand. Neither of them said a word, nor did they look each other in the eye. “So, uh…about that drink.” “Yeah?” “Want some company?” “I’ll allow it.”

(Bleh kinda lost the point of this writing tbh, it spiralled into something else entirely. i wasn’t really sure how to end it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tried my best tho, hope you like it

[darkhymns-fic]

Separate

As Lloyd starts on his journey to look for the Cores, he finds it much harder than he anticipated. He's not used to traveling alone, without her voice by his side.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairings: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel Rating: G Mirror Links: AO3 Notes: It's Colloyd Day!! To celebrate, I wrote a collaborative fic with the wonderful writer, Lil-Samuu, with both of us writing different sides of the same story, hers from Colette's perspective and mine from Lloyd's. This was a fun idea for such a special day! 

For Lil-Samuu's Colette-focused story, please read it here. This is connected to Lloyd's story and works well when read together! @frayed-symphony also drew amazing art for both stories, be sure to check!

---

Lloyd had never been a very good writer.

That simple fact was told to him by Professor Sage whenever she had the chance to. Much of that was complimented by a frown, trying to read over an essay he turned in that very morning while he looked several different shades of guilty. Clearly littered with incomplete sentences, some of them including just the wrong words by nature, it was hard to parse whatever he was trying to say.

Not like he didn’t try, but his characters would get a little sloppy, or merge into one another and make little sense of the sentence he attempted. It wasn’t the same as drawing or making figurines. Those things interested him, feeling like he could create something out of nothing, or just try to mold an idea that he had been holding inside his head. Then it was easier, then it was interesting.

This, writing, just wasn’t interesting to him.

“Gah, why does this stupid stuff matter anyway?” Lloyd had argued, his temper getting the best of him. At 12, he couldn’t control the rawness of his frustration. Though he wouldn’t have much better luck a few years later. “If I want to talk about something, I should just be able to say it! Writing it down takes way longer.”

“There will be times when you can’t just say what’s on your mind at that moment,” his teacher had patiently explained. “It’s good to gather your thoughts and put them down for someone to read later. What if they can’t hear what you to say at that moment? What if it’s easier to say what you want on paper?”

“No way! If I have something to say, I’ll just say it!” Lloyd was proud of his stance on this, hands on his hips, head raised high. Not even his low marks for the day could drag his spirits down.

Until one night, when he had to write a letter for Colette.

Suddenly, he had a chaos of thoughts to say, but no way to say them out loud. And no more bravery to do so.

As he stayed up on the night he would leave her, Lloyd tried to write her a letter, until the picture was clear in his head.

---

Despite the strange warmth in the air, Lloyd had somehow still caught a cold.

“Ah-choo!” Lloyd sneezed a bit loudly. With a sigh, he wrapped his cloak around himself, trudging through the snows before finally seeing the city gates of Flanoir. The spires of its cathedral pierced through the dark night sky, which glittered with so many stars and the brightness of two moons.

“I’d count as many as I could before, when Kratos helped me. But now I can only count a few before my eyes get heavy. But it feels so nice to do so all the same.”

And she would say that with the brightest smile on her face – to be able to sleep again.

Lloyd had barely gotten a full night’s rest since he left Colette.

“Agh, don’t… think on that now. It’s not helping any.” He clamped down on his muttering, trying to keep his lips from getting chapped from the wind. Also, it was kinda weird talking to himself like this? He never used to do it this much, but it had always felt natural before to say whatever was on his mind, knowing someone was with him to hear it. Sometimes he’d listen to how Colette would do the same, pattering off the names of dogs she found, or talking about the shapes she saw up in the cloudy skies, and he’d drink in the sound of her voice.

Each night was quiet and empty without her.

Lloyd finally made it past Flanoir’s entrance, dimly annoyed at himself for landing his Rheiard a bit far off from the city. But it’d be dumb to just get the vehicle out from his wing pack, fly it for like a minute, and then get off again! Even though his walk had been an extra 15 minutes because of it, but Lloyd was stubborn like that.

He kept making dumb little mistakes like this lately. A wrong flight turn at Sybak, then leaving half of his Gald at one town accidentally… and now here at Flanoir…

Lloyd’s satchel that he carried over his shoulder was light; he’d gone through most of his food, sometimes snacking in the middle of the night when he could barely sleep. He kinda wished the blessing of Martel gave him better self-control… or the power to summon infinite food… or something else that was cool.

“The power to summon doggies! All kinds from around the world!”

“Heh, yeah. That would be pretty cool, wouldn’t it? Kinda like my Sorcerer’s Ring that one time!”

Lloyd blinked, stopping in the middle of the street when he realized. Oh, now he was making up conversations between them…

Martel had said her power would protect him from the mental effects of his mission, but he was clearly already losing it! Needing something to do with his hands, he looked through his satchel, trying to remember what he needed. More food definitely, maybe some mittens (he still had a few Penguinist’s Quills), a couple of Gels, but did he even have enough money…? He kept searching, assessing, his hand brushing against something familiar, making him stop.

He held out what he found, the sky feeling heavy, yet the weight in his palm so light. Red-dyed gloves imprinted against the white, the contrast so strong in his eyes still.

He was losing it, or… he just really, intensely missed Colette. He thought knowing that she was safe now would be enough but…

It had been only a week or so since Lloyd had left Colette – not bravely, not with an explanation of any sort even. The air had been familiar in that part of Sylvarant, just near Iselia. Maybe that was why he had chosen to go on that very night. Colette wouldn’t be far from the town; she’d go back to her home, to people that would be there for her, when he couldn’t be. She’d be able to have a normal life to herself again, one that was denied from her; from the world, and even from himself.

He had already involved her in one dangerous mission with him. He couldn’t put her in another. That was what he told himself – what he kept trying to tell himself.

Lloyd did wish he hadn’t left her completely alone though. He had tried sneaking away by himself, but Noishe, who had tagged along with them for most of the journey, soon caught wind of his movements. The only way to stop the dog’s whining was to take him along, at least far enough to Dirk’s home. Maybe Colette would stop by there…

Someone bumped against his shoulder, nearly making him trip. Oh. Yeah, he was still standing in the middle of the street like an idiot. Clearing his throat, he put back the weight he held into his satchel and moved away, the antiquated buildings – yet taller and sturdier than most buildings back in Sylvarant – giving him a nostalgic sense. The snow fell more gently here than outside the city walls, probably because those same walls buffered the wind, leaving more pleasant but still chilly weather.

…Actually, it was a bit warmer here too, even more than he expected. That’s weird… The cloak now felt a bit too suffocating this way. He had to loosen it from his neck, giving himself room to breathe.

Things in the world weren’t right, not completely. From changes in temperature to a certain taste in the air. That was why one night, Lloyd had heard Martel’s voice in his head, telling him what he needed to do. He was supposed to search for the Cores. But, in all honesty, Lloyd had no idea where to begin. He had just… somehow ended up here. In Flanoir.

That had been another mistake. Why did he travel to this place?

---

In the cozy warmth of his room, the metal fireplace insulating him well against the cold from outside, Lloyd had nearly fallen asleep on his feet until he heard a soft knocking on his door.

Usually, Lloyd would conk out like a log once entering an inn room. Just the sight of a bed invited him to just lay down and close his eyes right away. The pleasant heat of the entire inn already had him yawning and stretching, the snows from beyond the building muffling most sounds.

But this time he stayed up. He expected something. There had been so much in his head, the snow gently falling.

She didn’t even have to say anything until she opened the door, her hair so bright –

---

Lloyd found himself at the inn before he knew it.

“Oh,” he said aloud, looking around like a gaping fish. He had just completely blanked out on his walk to here. How’d that happen? He rubbed his scalp, thinking on it a bit too hard.

“Oh! You’re Lloyd Irving, aren’t you?”

Well, that got his attention. Lloyd turned to the front, finding a man around his age, waving to him.

“Yeah! I remember you! You and your friends would stay here all the time like a year back.”

“Uh! Y-yeah, hey!” Lloyd waved at him, walking to the front past some dining tables, his boots making the floorboards creak. He felt so bad not remembering this person’s name… He did recognize the face though. The guy had short cropped black hair, a ready smile on his face. He seemed pretty happy to see Lloyd?

“Are your friends going to come by too?”

“Hm? Oh, no, it’s just me this time around.” Saying that out loud suddenly felt weird, as if the reality of everything had just now sunk in. No, no, he had known that all along. He had just been trying to push it away in the back of his skull, that was all. “For a, uh… a quick visit!”

The man behind the counter continued to smile at him. So, was he the receptionist? The innkeeper? Maybe the cook that just happened to be out here while the real receptionist was on break? Colette would probably remember… At the least, she might have remembered his name. Having gone with Lloyd around the world to name every dog she met, she learned and memorized most people’s names they came across too.

And maybe she would remember this person, especially after her and Lloyd had been rejected by so many inns at so many places.

But she wasn’t here with him.

“I could tell it was you. No one else wears so much red around here!” The guy kept laughing and talking, but it was hard to pay attention. Things didn’t seem right, like Martel had told him. Things just weren’t right.

And it was up to him to fix it.

---

“Those with the blessing of Martel can weather the mental drain of the Cores. So only you can take this mission.”

Yuan had always been blunt and straight to the point. At least at this moment, Lloyd appreciated it. After some rough first impressions, both had started to trust one another. Especially with the presence of Martel binding them.

Still, he had to ask. “Why doesn’t that include Colette though?”

Yuan raised an eyebrow. It was strange not seeing him wear the dark cloak anymore, his clothes more casual, his eyes less hard and bitter. The tree behind him was still a small thing, a sapling with the first hint of greenery, leaves beginning to sprout forth. He couldn’t see Martel, but he could sense her – despite not knowing what exactly she thought of his question.

With Yuan, he could tell right away. “You’re thinking what I just asked was stupid, aren’t you?”

“Never said that.” Yuan frowned. “But why Colette specifically?”

“Because… she was with me when we both went to the tree. When we gave it a name!”

“When you gave it a name,” Yuan reiterated. “Remember?”

Lloyd sighed. “Okay… but we both promised we’d do anything to protect the tree from withering.”

“It was still you that made that promise. And Martel accepted that promise, along with the name you’ve chosen, as proof of the pact.” Yuan sighed. “Or should I go over the way such pact-formations work again?”

“I got it, I got it.” Lloyd held back another sigh. He had left Colette at a Church of Martel, her business with the priests allowing him time to visit this place with the World Tree.  Even though she had been here before, even though she had heard the name he gave… She had asked of him to give it a name…

“Are you just looking for an excuse to not do this?”

“No!” Lloyd said back. “I never said I wouldn’t do it. I’ll find the Cores and keep Ratatosk from awakening them. If only I can.”

“That’s right,” Yuan said, now appearing to be satisfied. “Only you.”

He felt Martel’s own satisfaction as well, but in there, a small tinge of understanding.

Lloyd still wished for a different outcome.

---

“Do you want a room? Hello?”

Again, he had been thinking too hard on things, losing track of everything. If Colette was here, she’d have nudged him for spacing out. Or talked with the innkeeper/receptionist/chef? Lloyd still wasn’t sure…

“S-sorry. Uh, what were you asking?”

“Just wanted to know if you needed a room. We can probably give you a discount after all your stays with us! Like… like 10 percent max though.”

Lloyd thought on it longer, much longer than he meant to. The inn’s rooms were warm, but the place was already so warm, warmer than it needed to be. Any other time, it would make him fall fast asleep, but like before, his mind kept turning over and over.

When Colette opened the door to his room, he had felt those thoughts settle. But, she wouldn’t do that now. Because he left her.

“Um, no. That’s okay. I’ll be leaving already.”

“Oh? Then… why did you come here?”

Lloyd paused just as he was turning away, the words completely lost to him. There was a weight in his chest that was hard to get rid of.

“I’m not sure,” he said out loud, then left through the inn door. He still didn’t learn that guy’s name.

---

When Lloyd had left with Noishe to his dad’s home, part of him had been calm. Something about seeing the two-story house there, the vines climbing up the walls, the sun’s rays slanting over the creek that ran around his house, had been relieving. The dog happy-whined at the sight, already wanting to run towards the home, his large ears flicking with excitement.

Lloyd honestly felt the same. But he stopped himself from just running forward. Moving further out of the forest, he saw Dirk watering the garden, probably having been up since dawn doing all the other chores in the house – including taking care of what had been Lloyd’s own chores.

He could barely hold back anymore, so with a shout, he called out to him. “Hey! Dad!”

The dwarf perked his head up, his beard somehow even bushier than before. Noishe had rushed past Lloyd, ambling up to Dirk to get promptly petted on his furry head. “Lloyd! Haven’t seen ya in a while. Still holding up?”

“Yeah!” Lloyd answered a bit quickly, waiting for his dad to make the connection. The space around him was too prominent, the lack of a voice too clear.

“I don’t see Colette with you today. Is she back in Iselia?”

Lying is the first step down the path of thievery. And even though Lloyd had definitely lied before, that vow felt so much more vital at this moment. She probably was in Iselia at this moment, maybe even looking for him…

“Someone needs my help,” Lloyd said, a little rushed, but still convinced he had to go through with it. “I can’t have Colette involved in it. So… we need to be separate from now on.”

He inwardly winced, seeing the gears in his father’s head work, assessing the truth of his words. That was one other reason why he didn’t lie often. His dad could always tell when he did anyway.

“How long will you be gone then?” Dirk finally asked, stopping his petting of Noishe to cross his thick arms over his chest.

“I’m not sure. It might be a while. I… really don’t have any idea.”

“Have you told Colette any of this?”

A pause. “I did.” This one wasn’t a lie still, but he held back. He had a feeling Dirk wouldn’t approve of the way he told Colette.

But sometimes things couldn’t be said right away at that moment. Sometimes one needed to wait and gather one’s thoughts, suddenly all so mixed up. And sometimes, it was easier.

Dirk continued to visibly ponder over Lloyd’s words, the sun still shining brightly, despite a small chill in the air. The weather had been strange lately, like the hint of snow back in Triet. Lloyd didn’t have much time to pause and wander around anymore. But still, he had to come here, he had to have some closure in something.

His father looked him straight in the eyes. It didn’t matter that he was a few feet shorter – Lloyd always felt smaller in his presence no matter what.

“You’re doing what you believe is right and true, are you?”

“Yeah!” This he knew for sure, even though the pain of leaving Colette was still fresh. “Of course!”

“And you won’t go making trouble for people out there?”

“No way! I swear!”

Then, that bushy beard revealed a white, shining grin. “Then what are ya waiting for? Get to completing your tasks so you and Colette can travel together again.”

Lloyd blinked, feeling out of sorts almost. “You’re not mad?”

“Lloyd, you’ve done nothing to make me angry. I trust you. Just as I know that Colette trusts you too. Just promise you’ll be careful.”

“Right! I will!” Back then, his burdens felt lifted, at least for a moment. Still, he had one thing to ask. “Hey, Dad? If, um, Colette comes by…”

He paused, wondering if he had a right to say this. He had given her a letter, but was that enough?

“Go on, Lloyd,” Dirk said, his voice gentler.

“Can you tell her…?”

---

Maybe camping out in the snows was his way of punishing himself.

But still, the outside was not nearly as cold as it should have been. Either way, Lloyd wore his cloak, and if he buried his hands underneath the snows, they’d go numb with the chill regardless. He made the campfire by rote, soon finding the flames eat up the kindling, already melting the snow underneath it. Snowflakes still drizzled down, if not as fiercely as they once did a year ago.

“Could we still make snowmen like this? Or do you think it would melt too fast?”

“We could try! Just gotta speed through it! Whoever makes the fastest snowman wins!”

“Oh! What do I win then?”

“Hey, why are you assuming you’d win already?”

Lloyd sat against a big snowdrift, half burying himself in it. Here he was, making up conversations again. What would his dad think of him now though? He no longer felt as confident as he should have been.

In his satchel, there was little food and money. He had forgotten to stock up, already leaving Flanoir before even staying there for more than an hour. It hadn’t felt right, being there without her. Traveling all this time with her, and then suddenly an emptiness around him.

His hand had brushed against the snowbunny she had given him earlier in the city, its shape fitting into his palm. It was the one thing he made sure to never forget to leave behind.

“And I get to stay by your side, right?”

Lloyd shut his eyes, overwhelmed by the memory, the guilt, the need to have her seated beside him. And then he was overwhelmed by the reality that she would not be with him for so long.

“I’m sorry,” he said out loud to the fire, seeing the way it flickered in the darkness. The fire seemed to cast long shadows, longer than they should.

Lloyd raised his head. The clouds finally cleared, giving him a clear view of the stars.

There were so many new ones ever since the worlds reunited. People of both worlds now shared the same sky, the same stars, and the same moons. Sometimes he wondered, back when Tethe’alla was separate, how different the sky must have looked compared to Sylvarant’s. Or maybe it was still so similar. But with them meshed together like this, that distinction no longer mattered. Everything was now under one sky.

Colette was under this sky too. She seemed to like counting the stars with him.

There was one particularly bright star. It flickered like a candle in the pitch-black expanse above him. Looking up at that star made his head feel a little clearer. The tension in his neck seemed to dissipate.

Under this same sky, maybe Colette was watching this star too? Thinking that, at least a little bit.

The air was warmer than it should have been, but still Lloyd wrapped his cloak around himself, the empty space around him much too wide, much too cold. He’d do better tomorrow, figure out what he needed to do, where he needed to go, to finish his mission and get back to Colette.

It was just hard to get used to.

“I’ll come back, okay?” he said out loud, watching that same bright star. No one would hear him, not for a long while. But someday, she would.

It was nice though, looking up at the sky, at that star…

---

Dear Colette,

By the time you read this, I’ll have already left on my own journey. Sounds familiar, right?

I think I understand why you wrote me that letter back then. It’s not easy to do this. You look really happy when you’re sleeping, and I don’t want to ruin that with this. Or maybe I’m too worried to do that anyway.

This will be familiar too… I care about you too deeply to get you involved. Sorry, I’m just stealing your words at this point. I’m not good at this!

Even though… I wish you could be involved? But I can’t ask that of you. I can’t ask that of anyone.

But I can promise you though that I’ll come back! I want to protect this world, this world with Colette in it. And I want to keep staying by your side, too.

But for now, I can’t.

I’m sorry.

I was happy traveling with you all this time. Just with you. And I wanted to keep that going.

I’m sorry for leaving, and for telling it you this way. I hope you can forgive me.

But I’ll always  I really feel like I I’ll miss you, Colette.

I’ll come back.

-Lloyd

[xofanfics]

Choices - Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: Mark x Reader, Johnny x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

*REQUESTED* Can you do a scenario where you are Mark’s classmate in college and he likes you, whilst Johnny who happens to be an upperclassman but was your tutor back in high school likes you too? And you are kinda torn between them and don’t know who to choose. You can put her up with anyone toward the end, your wish. I just want romance with both of them being into her and confusion on her part. TIA ❤

Johnny didn't usually have trouble when it came to girls. Not to be cocky but he was tall and had good looks; it wasn't that hard for him to talk to a girl or flirt with her or even ask her if she wanted to hang out sometime. But, for some reason, his confidence went out the window when it came to Y/N.

In high school, he never looked at you. He never once looked at you as more than the girl he tutored after school. He never once looked at you as more than that. He considered you a friend back then, like a little sister. There were times you asked him for advice when you and your friend had gotten into a fight and there were times when he bought you a snack from the vending machine if you got hungry. A lot of the younger girls at school had crushes on him. Y/N was different though. There were times he thought that you might like him, then there were other times where he wasn't sure. Even now, he wasn't sure.

He didn't look at you back then, probably because he was seventeen and you were barely sixteen. Seniors didn't date sophomores. It was a rare occurrence. It was something that just didn't happen. So, he just continued tutoring you.

After graduating, you didn't really talk. He went on to college, keeping in contact with only a few people from high school. He didn't expect you to come to the same university. He was surprised to see you. You'd changed some but you still looked the same. You got a little taller, you had some curves now, and you looked slightly older. Basically, you didn't look fifteen anymore.

He found himself attracted to you as soon as he saw you again. And he found himself even more attracted to you as you had more interactions. It was easy to flirt with you, at first. But after playing truth or dare and seeing you with Mark, he realized he had some feelings for you. He wouldn't have been feeling jealousy toward you and Mark’s relationship. Even though they just seemed to be friends, he could tell that Mark liked you as more than just a friend. He thought that maybe it would be difficult to get to you since you were so close with Mark. But when it was your turn to pick truth or dare, you ended up being dared to kiss him. It was his opportunity to confirm whether or not he had some feelings for you.

Upon kissing you, he knew. He knew that he had feelings for you. He knew that he wanted to ask you out somehow, someway. He just had to get to you before Mark did.

You started nodding in class as a video played on the screen. It was one of the past president’s speeches. But that wasn't the reason you were falling asleep. You'd spent your night fooling around in the dorms. You went with Mel to the lounge in your building to study because you didn't feel like actually leaving the building to go to the library. Of course, you spent most of the time down there talking to the people that had already been in there. And by the time you realized that it was getting late, you hadn't gotten much studied.

So, you pulled an all-nighter. Mel didn't have any exams tomorrow but you had a biology one. You couldn't show your face in front of Johnny later on if you didn't do well. You had to do well in this exam if you didn't want Johnny to hold it against you later.

So, here you were nearly falling asleep in your last class of the day. You were supposed to be listening to the speech in search of logos, pathos, and ethos. But you could hardly keep your eyes open. Your chin was resting in your palm. But your arm couldn't hold you up so your arm hit the desk with a thud.

“Wake up,” Mark said, as your professor turned the lights on. You blinked a few times before stretching your arms with a yawn. “Had a long night?”

“All nighter,” you responded. “I might've gotten like two hours of sleep before class.”

“Why didn't you study with me at the library?”

You pouted as your teacher started talking. “Because I didn't feel like putting on clothes. I was comfy in my pajamas.”

Mark just shook his head. He was so ready to go on that date with you later. It was his first real date; the date he had gone on in his senior year in high school didn't count. His best friend wanted to go out with this girl and he begged him to go with her friend. So he did. She was a nice girl and she wasn't bad looking. Despite that, she wasn't Mark’s type. And they didn't go out again.

But he was ready to go out with you. If things were successful, maybe he'd confess his feelings for you.

You met up with Johnny for tutoring after eating a quick lunch in the cafeteria. You ate by yourself so you could get in and out of there as soon as possible. Then you headed to the library to meet.

Johnny was there before you, in a small study room he'd rented out for the two of you. He looked up from his laptop, smiling upon seeing you.

You said, “Hey.”

He said, “Hey, Y/N. How was your first exam?” You shrugged, sitting down at the table. You put your head down on the table. “Was it that bad? Did you not study?”

“I did,” you said, “all night.”

“Did you have trouble on any of the questions?”

“I think I got meiosis and mitosis confused,” you said, putting your face in your palms. “That means I'm probably already down to a B.”

Johnny smiled. “It's okay. You have plenty of time to make up for it. Make sure you do the optional midterm later. That'll replace your lowest grade.”

You nodded. “I guess it's not the end of the world.”

Johnny stood up and got the whiteboard. He drew a line down the middle, a column for mitosis and another for meiosis.

You groaned and Johnny folded his arms over his chest. “Hey, I'm trying to help you pass this class with a good grade here.”

“I'm tired,” you said with a pout.

He said, “You can sleep we’re done.” He cleared his throat. “So one of the main differences between these two are that in mitosis, the cell only divides once. In meiosis, the cell divides twice…”

Johnny was explaining things to you and you nodded but the only thing you could think about was getting back in your bed.

About fifteen minutes later, Johnny said, “Do you have any questions?”

You shook your head. “Can I go now?”

Johnny laughed, “Yeah, you're free to go.” As you stood up, Johnny spoke again. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you doing anything later on?”

“I'm going to the fair with Mark...”

To be honest, Johnny’s heart dropped once he heard that. You were going to the fair with Mark. If you'd said that you were going with Mark and your roommate, he wouldn't feel concerned or jealous. He didn't know if it was a date or not but what else would it be? What kind of friends went to the fair with just one friend? If it was friendly, they'd probably go in a group. But they were going alone, just the two of them.

Your relationship with Mark was none of his business but he couldn't help but want to know the details. He wanted to ask you out on a date tonight. He wanted to take you to dinner and a movie or whatever you wanted to do. He just wanted to spend time with you alone, not in a group just time. And he wanted to kiss you again, on his terms and not in some stupid game of truth or dare.

Had Mark gotten to you first? Did Johnny even have a chance with you now? Had he waited too long?

He said, “Oh okay…”

“Why?”

“I was just wondering,” he said. “I'll see you later.”

And he hurried out of the classroom before you could even make a comment. Was he going to invite you to another party or something?

You put on jeans since you knew that after sunset it would get cool. You wore a floral blouse with it. You weren't sure if Mark asked you on a date or if he just wanted to go as friends. Mark rarely mentioned other girls to you. Did he like you?

You decided you'd ask him about it later. There was a knock on the door. When you opened it, it was Mark. He smiled and said, “You look cute.”

“Thanks. You look okay.”

“Just okay?” You nodded and stuck your tongue out. “So you’re calling me ugly now?”

“I never said that,” you mumbled as you grabbed your bag and closed the door behind you.

As you walked, Mark told you a little bit about the fair. He said that his roommate went last Sunday with a bunch of his friends. He said not to waste time getting on the bumper cars because the line is always too long, especially if you go late at night.

“So if I wanna go on, you won’t wait on line with me? Fine. I’ll go by myself, Mark Lee!”

“Hey! I didn’t say I wouldn’t wait with you. I was just saying that what my friend said.”

You smiled and gave him a nudge. “I’m just messing with you, you know?”

He returned your smile and said, “I know.”

“Can I ask you something?”

You didn’t know it but Mark’s heart started to race. He had no reason to be nervous around you but, still, he felt anxious. You were his best friend on campus and you were one of the kindest people he knew. He wondered if he even would’ve met you had he not run into you that day in the dorms. Would he have met you eventually, since you lived in the same dorm, or would he have passed you by each day without knowing you? Regardless, he was glad to have met you.

“Yeah?” he asked as you headed over toward the fair at the park downtown.

“Is this just us hanging out or is it a date?”

“What do you want it to be?”

“I’m okay with either.”

“Then it’s a date.”

You smiled and he surprised you by taking your hand to hold in his. You hadn’t been expecting him to do that but you didn’t let his hand go. Instead, you laced your fingers between his.

Mark was happy. You seemed to be having a good time tonight. You started by playing games. He wanted to win a stuffed animal for you like they did in the movies. So he stopped by that game where you shoot the water in the hole. But you won before he could. So you ended up giving him a stuffed animal instead of keeping it for himself. You insisted, shoving it into his hands.

“But I wanted to win you something,” he said.

You dismissed him with a wave of your hand, saying, “Well I wanted to win you something.”

And he didn’t argue with that. So she took your hand again, dragging you to the long bumper cars line. It wasn’t too long, thankfully, since it wasn’t completely dark out yet. It was starting to get more and more crowded as the night went on.

“Thanks for bringing me out here. It’s been a stressful week.”

“No problem,” he said. “We always have fun together, don’t we?”

You nodded and, a few minutes later, you got on the bumper cars. Mark let you drive. When you got in and put your seatbelts on, Mark said, “Don’t kill me, okay?”

And you said, “Of course not.”

You nearly did kill him, though. He thought he’d get a headache as many times as you crashed into the tires lined on the side of the racetrack. You crashed into the tires more than you crashed into other players. But Mark thought it was funny.

“You don’t have your license, right?” Mark asked as you exited the bumper cars ride. You shook your head. “Please don’t drive. Like, ever…”

And you laughed, taking his hand and pulling him toward the ferris wheel. “Let’s go on the ferris wheel. I’ve never been on one before.”

“Me either. There’s a first time for everything, right?”

You headed toward the line. No one was waiting for it so you and Mark were able to get on immediately. You got in the cart first, with Mark behind you. When you were securely locked in, the ride started.

Mark noticed that you were squeezing his hand more tightly than you had been all night. So he asked, “Are you nervous?”

“I’m a little afraid of heights.”

“It’s okay.”

You scooted closer to him, much to Mark’s surprise. He knew that you were okay with being on a date with him at this point and you were also okay with holding his hand. Would you be okay with him giving you a kiss?

“Mark?”

“Yeah, Y/N?”

“Do you like me?”

If it had been any other day before this that you asked him something like that, you probably would’ve tried to change the subject. But since he seemed to be having positive results, he didn’t have to hide or die of embarrassment.

So he said, “Yeah.”

“I think I like you, too.”

You turned to him and sealed the space between you with a kiss. Your lips were soft on his. They tasted like cherry lip balm and he took in the vanilla scent from your perfume. He loved how you smelled and how your lips felt against his. His lips moved against yours slowly, carefully.

He pulled away first, to catch his breath.

You frowned. “What’s wrong?”

Mark just smiled and shook his head. “Nothing. You’re perfect.”

And he leaned in to kiss you again, this time cupping your cheek in his hand.

[jinjojess]

So I’m a day late on Oowada’s birthday, but since @manlyronpa gave me a really nice birthday gift this year, I figure I can kinda return the favor. Sorry it’s so unpolished. 

Hope you enjoy!

-------------

Oowada wasn't sure why he rode past the library every afternoon.

He told himself that he did it because it was a shortcut between Kibougamine and the park where Takemichi and the rest of the gang liked to meet in the evenings, but he didn't need Fujisaki's homebrewed GPS to know that the library actually added an additional ten minutes to the trip.

That was to say nothing of the time spent letting the bike idle while staring at the door, waiting for it to budge. He had no idea who he was waiting for, or why, but he knew that finding out was worth the lecture he'd get from Ishimaru the following day regarding exhaust emissions and global warming.

Most days Oowada moved before the library doors did, but not always. There were days when he studied the people who exited the library, testing to see if the sight of any of them triggered a reaction within him, like that volcano project Daiya had helped him do in elementary school.

“According to Fujisaki-kun's GPS, you have been spending quite a bit of time in front of the municipal library, Kyoudai.” Ishimaru crossed his arms, tilting his chin up ever so slightly as if to make himself appear taller. “Need I remind you that loitering is a crime.”

Oowada grunted in response, throwing a towel around his neck before bending back over to scatter food into the chicken coop.

“I'm simply looking out for you. Think about the effect it would have on our class if you were to be hauled in by the police.”

The chickens' heads darted toward the dirt, desperately pecking at the feed. It reminded Oowada of the time his old man had accidentally slapped a bowl of rice out of his mother's hands, the ceramic shattering and sending uncooked grains all over the floor. Chuck had dashed in, ready for clean up duty, before anyone had been able to stop him.

He had spent the following weekend at the vet's, coming home with nothing but a well-worn leash and a still-warm collar.

“Kyoudai? Are you listening?”

“Yeah, sure. You don't want me gettin' arrested.”

“Good, you are listening. Look, the practical exams are coming up and we really need to pull it together as a class. After that stunt Enoshima-kun pulled with the rubber bands, we can't afford any more mishaps.”

“Uh huh.”

“Speaking of the rubber band incident, I need to be going so I can deliver these flowers to Kuwata-kun in the hospital.”

“Good luck.”

“Can I trust you to stop milling around outside the library?”

Oowada stared at the chicken coop, noting how some of the wire was coming loose at the corner. With a firm tug, the entire sheet would come down.

“You sure can.”

While the rest of the class treated it like a joke, Oowada really could picture himself as a carpenter. He could almost feel the weight of the tool belt around his waist, the firm handle of a hammer in his hand. He could imagine how it must feel to build things, to fix them, rather than tear them down.

And yet.

His palms were so sweaty he almost dropped the pickaxe between where he had parked his bike and the entrance to the library, but fortunately he dug his fingers into the Crazy Diamonds name etched into the handle and managed to keep it steady.

Oowada's steps echoed as he climbed the small staircase to the door. He assumed that was because no one else was around at 2 a.m. to dampen the sound. He caught a glimpse of his own face in the glass of the library doors—it looked slightly distorted and unfamiliar. Like looking at the 3D rendering of his own face Fujisaki had shown him a few days prior as a possible new skin for Alter Ego.

For a moment, Oowada felt as though he were the only person in the world. No gang, no family, no friends, no classmates. No one to lead, no one to impress. It was only Oowada. Oowada Mondo, a chipped piece of glass lying in the dirt where a diamond had once been buried.

Breathing heavily, he had to stop and grab hold of the banister.

“H-Hey. You gonna throw up or something?”

The crispness of the voice in the night air sent a jolt through Oowada, and in an instant he had hoisted the pickaxe over his head.

He heard a distressed squeal that sounded alarmingly like a deflating balloon and one of the library doors slammed shut.

Adrenaline draining from his limbs, Oowada dropped his arms.

“Who's there?”

“Th-That's what I should be asking you!” came a voice from behind the door.

It was a voice he knew.

A voice that he usually heard murmuring to itself two desks to his left in class everyday.

It belonged to a classmate he normally didn't think much about. They weren't friends, like he was with Ishimaru and Fujisaki. She didn't piss him off to the point where he wanted to sock her in the face, like Yamada or Kuwata. And she sure as shit didn't have the kind of body that would stick in his mind all afternoon like Enoshima or Asahina.

“...Fukawa? That you?”

“How do you know my name?!”

“It's Oowada. From school.”

“Oh wonderful. I'm trapped in the library at night with a fucking delinquent.”

“Yeah, it's a real fucking nice surprise seeing you too.”

Amid the gloom beyond the door window, Oowada saw movement, as if a frightened animal were huddled behind the glass.

What was he doing, talking to a girl like this? What would his brother say?

Oowada drew a deep breath, held it for 5 seconds just the way Fujisaki’s father had advised, and exhaled slowly.

“So,” he said, hoping his voice sounded less combative, “uh, whatcha doin' here at this hour?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Oowada looked down at the pickaxe in his hand.

“I actually came here to bust this place up.”

“Why?”

“I...dunno, actually.”

“Sounds like a well-thought out plan.”

“I just kinda end up here every day after school for some reason. No matter what I do, before I know it, I'm sitting outside this stupid fucking library, watching the doors. It's startin' to piss me off.”

“You feel compelled to visit this library every day? Do you ever go inside?”

“Why the hell would I go inside?”

“Because...okay, you know what? Never mind.”

The door creaked open and Fukawa peeked out from behind the metal. Her braids drooped just like a dog’s ears, and Oowada felt a surge of warmth course through him.

“Hey, it's alright. I ain't gonna hurt a girl.”

“Reassuring.”

Fukawa oozed from the cracked door like a human-shaped mold, letting the door click shut behind her. She leaned against it, her eyes narrowed as she stared at Oowada. If he didn’t know better, he might have thought she was trying to guard the door and keep him from going in.

“So, why are you here?” he asked.

“That's none of your business.” Fukawa sniffed and looked down at her uniform. She noticed a small splotch of something dark—sauce from lunch, Oowada assumed—on the edge of her sleeve and she grimaced, clamping her fist around the soiled fabric.

She looked back up at him, probably embarrassed at being caught out as a sloppy eater. The hazy light from the streetlamp reflected against her glasses, and Oowada could suddenly see his own reflection in them.

Something bubbled deep within him, as if someone had dumped vinegar and baking soda into his gut.

“Uh, so...um.”

“With conversation this scintillating, who could ask for anything more?” Fukawa snorted. “Please, tell me mo—”

“Wanna go for a ride or somethin'?”

“...What?”

“A ride,” Oowada repeated, slowly so that his tongue wouldn't trip over his teeth. “You know, on my bike. Or something else. Something else would be fine too.”

Fukawa's lips pressed together, her jaw clenching. She looked between Oowada and the bike a few times before shaking her head.

Oowada felt the bubbling in his gut settle somewhat, a dull ache beginning to bloom there, when Fukawa glanced over her shoulder at the library for a second and let out a sigh.

“You know what? I really need to get out of here. Why the hell not.”

[aroha-x-astro-blog]

Home Sweet Home

So this is for the sweetest most amazing person on here, Yeng aka @astrobinn​!! I’ve had the pleasure of being her Secret Aroha and as my gift to her I’ve written an AU just for her!! Yeng, I hope you like this! It’s my first time writng something like this and I want you to be able toe enjoy reading it. ❤❤❤

Word Count: Roughly 2.9k

Chapter:  One. Two. Three

Genre: Fluff, kinda ansgty, highschool au

Summary: Things weren’t going your way recently. Your parents had just split up, you had to move to a completely new city, leaving behind the town you had grown up in and all your friends, and to top it all off, you were starting at a new school. But, you were trying to see the better side of things, because when things are looking down, why not try looking up?

Astonished at this new information, you couldn't do anything but look at him.  

“You- you’re the boy who knocked me over by the main office?!”

“ I’m really sorry! I would have helped you pick your books but I was in a hurry. I know that I should’ve stopped to help you, but I was already running late and I just… I’m really sorry.”  

“No, it’s okay. You don’t need to keep apologizing ” you assure him.

“What..?"

“Yeah it’s fine. I mean, it’s not like you meant to crash into me…”

“But I still feel bad.”

Not knowing how to respond, you reiterate, “Seriously it’s okay, you don’t have-”

This was the first time you really looked at him. He was a bit taller than you, He’s kinda cute, I guess.

The bell rang again, only this time, it was signaling the start of the next class

“Oh crap! We’re gonna be late for class!” Scrambling to grab your stuff, the two of you run to class. You made it there at the same time as the teacher, completely out of breath from having to run across campus to reach the English building.

You attempt to explain why the two of you were late, but the teacher, much to your relief,  let you off this one time since she knew it was your first day.

For the first half of the day, you were asked to introduce yourself to the class in various ways, and in each of them, you were welcomed with open arms. In Drama, you played name games the entire time just so that you could learn everybody's names; in US History, you were given the task of explaining your life by drawing a timeline with some of the small but significant moments in your life as your introduction. The environment in each class was so different, and the school was so big that you had almost a completely new group of faces to remember.

The one familiar face you saw for the first half of the day was Moonbin’s. Surprisingly, he is actually a sweetheart. The flurry of apologies had ceased, replaced with jokes and normal conversation. The awkwardness from earlier was a distant memory, compared to how well you were getting along now. Honestly, you were thankful for Moonbin’s presence. Despite all the events from this morning, having one new thing in your life that made you happy and smile felt like a blessing.

The weeks that had lead up to the divorce, and the weeks after it had been hard on you emotionally. Even now it was hard to think about everything that had happened, but having this sense of normalcy back in your life helped you to almost forget about it all. It provided a distraction from all the pain of the past with laughter and conversation.

The natural routine of being in school came back pretty quickly too. You were a whole month behind, but that didn’t stop you. Some of the kids in each of your classes had made a collection of notes from the first from the part of the year you missed so that you could get caught up. Apparently, Mr. Gonzales had come around to all your classes and asked the students if a few of them could make a compilation of notes so that when you got here, the stress of having to get caught up would be reduced.

It seemed like everyone here was trying to make the effort of welcoming you into their school, and they were succeeding. The gratitude you felt towards them was beyond words. Considering how the day had started, you felt more like yourself since the divorce than you had in awhile.

Just as your History teacher finished the PowerPoint about the affects of slavery not only on the slaves, but the slave owners themselves, the bell went off.

“Okay, class might be over, but don’t forget to pick up the reading by the door. We’ll be having a discussion about it in class so actually do the reading please,” the teacher shouted over the noise of backpacks shuffling and the chatter of the students. She eventually gave up and went back to her desk.

Now the most dreaded part of the school day was here: lunch. You’d think that being a junior in high school would get rid of that stupid lunchtime fear of “Where do I sit? Who do I sit with?”

Moonbin has disappeared on you at some point after class had ended, which left you stranded to find out how to actually get to the cafeteria. Considering how helpful the map had been earlier, I’m probably better on my own.

You spent a good five minutes just aimlessly wandering through the halls until you found the cafeteria, though not before taking a couple of wrong turns. Ultimately, the smell wafting from the kitchen is what drew you to it. Considering how good the food smelled, the idea that this was a school for royalty didn’t seem as farfetched as before.

Not really knowing what to do, you follow the other students who looked like they were buying lunch too. As you got in line, you felt kind of lonely. Your guide had disappeared, and you didn’t really know anyone.

As the line inched forward, you wondered where Moonbin was and where he had vanished to. Maybe he just forgot something else in our homeroom.

Not really thinking about it, you grab the plate closest to you and just shuffle down the line. With how hectic of this morning it had been, you had forgotten to make your own lunch, which forced you to buy one instead.

I have to go grocery shopping once school’s out… where even is the grocery store around here? You hung your head in annoyance. Note to self: find out where the grocery store is and buy food.

“Miss, what’s your number?”

Snapping back to reality, you realize that you’re at the front of the line.

“My what?”

“Your student ID number. So that you can pay for your lunch.”

“Uhh, I’m sorry, it’s actually my first day and I don’t know my number yet. I normally would have brought my own lunch, but I forgot it this morning on accident…”

Her eyes widened a bit, getting a grasp on the situation. “Okay, I’ll let you go this one time, okay?” the lunch lady says jokingly. “Go enjoy your lunch. A good meal can make any day better.”

You thank her, and a sigh escapes your lips as you walk past the counter. It was nice of her to let me get a free lunch. Maybe this’ll be the meal to brighten my day.

You stepped back into the cafeteria, faced with a new problem: where to sit. You start scouring the room for an empty table, when Moonbin walks in

“Hey, where were you? I couldn’t find you after class.”

“Sorry, I realized that I had forgot my jacket back in our homeroom and ran over to get it,” Moonbin clarified.

“Are you usually this forgetful?” The conversation continued all the way to the table that Moonbin had set his backpack down at. Maybe it’s because he’s your tour guide, but it’s still weird.

He just sat down and smiled up at you.

“Aren’t you gonna sit down? I told some of my friends to sit with us, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” you reply. Placing your tray on the table, you finally had built up about half the courage you really needed to ask why he was hanging out only with you all day. “Hey, Moonbi-”

“Bin is fine.”

Taken aback, you don’t really know how to respond. You just take your seat across the table, looking at him.

“Or Binnie, if you want. I’m fine with either, really.”

“Okay... Binnie?”

He nods his head in response. “Yeah?”

“It’s nothing really, I was just kinda curious about where you-”

Completely out of the blue, you hear, “HYUNG! WE FOUND YOU!”

“Oh my God, who was that?!” looking around, trying to identify the screaming voice

“Kill me now,” Binnie mutters under his breath. You spin back around, hoping for answers. Apologetically, he looks back up at you and explains, “That’s one of the friends I was talking about.”

Curious as to who exactly are these friends of Binnie’s, you turn back around, trying to find them in the crowd. You scan the entire lunch room, until you spot an unnaturally tall boy running towards you with his tray in hand. Right behind him is a considerably smaller boy, who looked like he was trying to get him to stop. Trailing behind them were two more boys who just looked amused at the show happening before them. One of them was taller than the other, but the difference didn’t seem as great as it was between the other two.

“Hyung!” the tall boy exclaimed. “Is this the girl you’re showing around today?”

“Sanha!” the shorter boy reprimanded. “Don’t say that, it’s rude.” Giving you a remorseful look, he apologizes, “Please forgive this idiot. He has the mentality of a four year old and ends up blurting out the first thought that comes to mind.”

“I’m not an idiot!”

“Yes, you are. Now sit down.”

“But hyung, I’m really not and idiot! I’ll prove it to you.”

“Oh, I’d like to see you try.” The bickering somehow led to the two having a trivia contest about who knows what.

“Could you guys maybe try and pretend like you’re both not complete idiots?” Binnie pleads with them from behind your turned back.

“Binnie, I don’t think that’s possible for them. They were born idiots; you can’t change human nature,” you hear, the voice coming from your right side. You turn to face the new voice, only to meet the eyes of someone who you swore could be a model if they wanted to.

“May I sit here?” Awestruck, the only response you give is a nod.

Flashing you a smile, he replies, “Thank you.” Man I wish I had my camera out right now. The light is hitting him so nicely right now…

Absolutely overwhelmed, you look at Binnie, hoping for some sort of explanation for who all these people were, but now, next to him sat yet another new face. This one just looked at you, and after a few seconds, just started to eat his lunch.

Not being able to handle all this, you just sit there, utterly lost. You subconsciously grab for your camera case around your neck, holding on to it.

“Guys, could you be quiet for just one second, please?” Binnie begs them, holding his head in his hands. As a sigh escaping his lips, Binnie looks up at you and starts his explanation. “First off, I’m sorry if these morons startled you in anyway.” Objections were elicited from each of the newcomers, but Binnie simply ignored their protests and continued talking.

“I’m also sorry that these are these morons are the friends I was talking about earlier,” which was met with even more objections. The chaos just get getting more out of hand, and you could tell Bin

“For God’s sake, would you just introduce yourselves already?” Binnie cries out in despair. “(Y/N) still doesn’t even know what you names are.” This stops the dispute of who’s the bigger moron real quick.

They all look at you, and then at each other. Then the shortest out of all of them starts talking.

“We’re sorry if we startled you at all.” He walked over to the other side of the table and sat down next to Binnie. The taller one followed suit, and sat down on your left.

“My name’s Park Jinwoo, but most people call me JinJin. I’m a senior and it’s nice to meet you, (Y/N).”  The first thing you noticed about him, other than his height, was his dyed hair. He had blonde hair, which actually suited him really well. He also had his ears pierced. Maybe that is a normal thing here. He was wearing a pair of pretty tight black jeans and a yellow hoodie. Over that he was wearing a white jacket. Is he just cold or does he normally wear that many layers? He had a pair of headphones around his neck that you assumed were connected to his phone. There was something calming about him and his presence that you couldn’t put your finger on.

“I’m sorry if we surprised you,” he apologizes, scratching the back of his head as he looked at you.

“No, don’t apologize, I’m fine,” brushing his apology to the side.

“We wouldn’t have surprised you if JinJin-hyung hadn’t called me an idiot,” the tallest of them all mumbled. “Oh! I’m Sanha, by the way. Yoon Sanha. I’m a freshman this year so I’m still new to the school too!” He flashed you a smile that seemed so genuine, you couldn't do anything but smile back. Sanha had dark hair that was styled really cutely. He also had braces, which added to the cute factor. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a soft pink sweatshirt. Wow, he’s just a ball of cute, isn’t he?

“It’s nice to meet you, Sanha,” you respond, a small smile playing on your lips. He seems so innocent.

You were starting to calm down a bit. The tension that had built up in the midst of the chaos was starting to unwind.

“Ahem.” Facing forward, you realize that is was the model boy who was clearing his throat. “I guess I’ll go next then. My name is Cha Eunwoo. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” The first thing other than his looks you had noticed was how smooth and soft his voice was. You were a bit taken aback by it. He was wearing a thin gray hoodie and a blue jacket over it. It was a simple outfit, but he made it seem like something that could be shown on a runway.

“Oh!” Binnie recalls. “Hyung, I still have your minion snapback.”

His what?

Eunwoo’s face broke into a smile. “Of course you were the one who took it. I was looking for this everywhere.”

“Wait,” interrupting their conversation. “You like minions? As in, the small yellow people in the Despicable movies?”

“He does, and we have no idea why,” says the last boy through a mouthful of food. This was the first time you had heard him speak, though you only half heard him really due to the fact that he was talking with his mouth full. He was more interested in the food in front of him than he was in the conversation happening around. His ears were pierced too. Is it more common for boys to have their ears pierced here than to not or something? He was tank top that had “Dance God” written on the front. He looked like he had just come out of practice or something; his hair was plastered to his forehead with what looked like sweat. Maybe he’s part of a dance crew.

“Oh,” he says, finally taking a break from his lunch to look up at you. “My name’s Minhyuk, but everyone calls me Rocky. I’m a sophomore. Nice to meet ya.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” you answer back. Rocky flashes you a small smile and goes back to his food. With the way he was wolfing it down, you would’ve thought he hadn’t eaten in days.

“Hey, Rocky? You can have my portion too, if you want,” you offer.

You wish you had your camera out to capture the look on his face. He looked like you told him that he had won a lifetime supply of his favorite brand name or something.

“N- no, I can’t,” he stutters out. He goes back to eating his own food. “You need to eat food too, and besides, it’d be rude if i took your food on the first day that we’ve met.”

“But I offered it to you, so it’s not rude at all. Besides, I’m really not that hungry,  and I don’t want to just throw this away,” you try to reason. You could tell it was working when he starts to look you back in the face. “You’d actually be doing me a favor if you ate it for me.”

Rocky looks at his hyungs for approval with puppy dog eyes. You see JinJin give him a little nod in your peripheral vision.

“Thank you, Noona!” Rocky takes the plate gleefully and starts on your plate. I have never seen someone wolf down so much food in such little time.  

“Rocky, slow down or else you’re gonna get a stomach ache,” Binnie scolds. “We have practice after school, right?”

Muttering his response through a mouthful of food, he slowed down. With a satisfied look on his face, Binnie went back to his own food. Everyone was just talking about whatever, trying to include you into the conversation as much as possible. The rest of lunch was them getting to know you.

They all seem really close. The thought crosses your mind as Eunwoo is scolding Sanha for spilling juice on his snapback while the rest of them laughed. I wonder if I’ll find a group of friends that I’ll be this close with.

Without realizing it, you start to enjoy being in the company of these five boys and for the next 40 minutes, you forget about what happened this morning and just enjoy yourself.

[a-smilethat-explodes]

Chapter 22- Unrequited

As I drove to Cass's house, I recalled my conversation with Alexandra. It wasn't that she was unattractive. I thought hard of what she looked like… I knew but it had been a long time she I had really looked. She was small… a little taller then 5 feet, dark brown hair, and brown eyes. I sighed and cursed Alexandra for questioning my decision.

I parked my car in front of her house and then walked up to the front door. I knocked, avoiding the bell since it was almost 10:00 (her dad went to bed early), and then waited. I heard the scurrying of footsteps and then the door was thrown open. Cassie looked at me, clearly worried. "Hey!" she exclaimed. "Are you okay?" she asked as she let me in.

"Yeah-" the word had barely gotten out of my mouth before she threw herself into my arms. I forced myself to concentrate on what it felt like, having her in my arms. She was small, I'm 6'1, and she's 5'1, so there's a lot of room between her head and mine. "Hey…" I said softly, pulling her back. "What was that for?" I smiled.

"I'm just glad you're okay," she bit her lower lip worriedly. "You're okay, right?"

"Yes." I smiled back, reassuring her firmly.

"Okay good," she let go of me and then we walked into her family room.

"Hi Erik," her mom looked up from paying bills at the kitchen table and smiled at me.

"Hi Mrs. Franklin." I smiled back.

"I haven't seen you in a while," she told me amicably, putting down her reading glasses. "I guess because Jon's been around a lot…"

Jon? As in Cassie's ex-boyfriend? I turned and narrowed my eyes at Cassie. How did that asshole get back into her life?

"We'll be up in my room until you finish, Mom," she jumped in quickly at my expression, grabbing my arm, and dragging me out of the room.

"Oh. Well, nice to see you, Erik!" she called after me as I was dragged.

"You too!" I called back as we walked upstairs. I knew better then to go at it while we were going upstairs since Mr. Franklin was sleeping at the other end of the hall from her room. I waited until we got into the room and the door was shut. "Jon?" I demanded flatly, glaring at her with my arms folded across my chest.

She had the decency to look chastened. She avoided my eyes as she walked around to the other side of her bed. "We've just been talking a lot," she mumbled, sitting on the other side of her bed so that my back was to her. I turned sideways on her bed so that I could see her as she rearranged her pictures so that the picture with me was more prominent then the one with him. But I remembered the last time I had been here I had been more prominent… she had moved it so that he was in front of me. She was back with him.

I suppose that if I was secretly in love with her, I would've been jealous that Jon was back in her life. But I wasn't. I felt nothing but pissed off that that asshat was back. The drama he had created the last time he had been around was still fresh in my mind. "Cass, he treated you like shit." I sighed harshly, rubbing my forehead. "He treats you like shit."

"No he doesn't," she replied stubbornly. "We just had differences of opinion about your friendship with me."

"Yeah, he thought that you were cheating on him with me." I snapped back, swinging my feet around so that we were sitting on the same side of the bed.

"We're not back together," she told me firmly then looked away as she slowly admitted; "There's someone else in the picture that I want to date instead." I was about to ask who when her eyes slid back to look me in the eye.

And that's when I knew. That's when I knew, what Ana and Alexandra had both said, was true.

Cassie really was in love with me. I knew her better then probably anyone else in the world, knew her expressions, knew when she was angry, sad, depressed, …in love.

Oh shit.

The first thing that came to mind wasn't, "I really do love you." It was, "Don't do anything to screw up the friendship." I didn't say either out loud, of course, but that was the first thing that came to my mind.

I had looked at her. I had given her a good hard look, taken in her appearance, her personality, and I had tried to love her. I'd forced myself to look at her like how I'd never looked at her before. I didn't know a lot about it but I knew there should no one should ever force themselves to love someone else. And if Cassie and I did date, if we were to ever even kiss, I'd be forcing myself to do it because I knew she cared about me, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship.

I had tried to see her beauty but she had remained stubbornly just Cassie in my mind. No goddess came to mind, nothing earth shattering, she was just… my best friend.

I wasn't in love with Cassie and probably never would be.

That's when I realized I had been staring at her for a long moment. And, given her mind set at that moment especially after the implications of her last statement, that might mean to hear that I was thinking about returning the feelings. Shit. I had to find a way out of this one without hurting her.

What to talk about? NOT Christine. That would devastate her. Not Jon, that would make her admit that she liked me instead of him.

So I chose the most neutral subject I could think of: Aidan.

"Jake's little brother is a monster." I announced, looking away, and standing, walking over to her dresser to examine pictures in frames that I had seen a billion times. It felt better to put distance between us.

I heard a startled pause behind me and then a quiet, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. This morning, Mrs. C sprang a surprise visit-" hmm a picture of Cassie and her girl best friend Alana, "-and brought Aidan along since-" hmm a picture of the rest of her girl friends, all 10 of them out to dinner before last year's formal, "-he was too little to go along with the other kids and their dad to go mini-golfing. He threw himself on my back like twice to wake me up…monster." I smiled a little to myself, aware of her eyes on me in the dresser mirror even though my back was to her.

"Yeah," she agreed quietly.

"And then Mrs. C went on her usual rant at Jake because he had some wild party there the night before and he hadn't cleaned up AND Adam, who thinks it's hilariously funny, drew "I love men," all over his face while he was passed out." I was well aware that I was rambling but at least she hadn't made a fool out of herself by kissing or professing her undying love for me.

"Oh," she said as though the thought had just occurred to her. "You were out all night with Christine last night?" she asked. I heard her trying to keep her voice light though I could hear the strain in it.

Oh Cass… don't do this to yourself. Why did girls always do that to themselves? Why chose to hear about something that will hurt them? I suppose to gauge how into Christine I was.

So I forced my voice to be light too as I explained, still staring intently at those pictures, "Nah, it's not what you think… I had a bad night and needed to talk to someone. We fell asleep in the back of my car at the beach. Nothing happened."

"How come you didn't give me a call?" she asked me, voice still light with a hint of curiosity though I could hear the edge brewing underneath it. Talk about heavy. I'm not stupid; I have a lot of knowledge from Nice Guy department about tone in girls.

I shrugged, keeping my back to her still. The less eye contact, the better. "She called me, I called her back, I needed someone to talk to at that moment… it was the timing, really."

"Ah," she said shortly.

A thought occurred to me: what if she thought that I was trying to play it off because I was trying to play off the whole Christine thing not because I didn't want to hurt her but because I was trying to tell her that I really did care about her? Girls and their stupid mind games!

So I jumped in with, "Her dad seemed really pissed when she got home this morning; he greeted her at the door, so I think she's in trouble… I haven't heard from her, and I don't want to try calling her in case her dad picks up. The man already hates me."

"What, is she grounded?" Cassie demanded with a little more bite then usual. She was hurt and she was trying not to act like she was. "Isn't she our age?"

"Yeah, I don't know." I shrugged. "Overprotective still, I guess… probably one of those, "as long as you live under our roof, you need to be home by a certain time," or something. I'm sure there's a good reason."

"I'm sure," she added flatly.

I had to get out of there. It was getting really awkward. "Hey-" I began as my phone went off. Damn. I pulled it out… Christine. Shit. "Hello." I answered.

"Hey," she whispered back.

"Why are you whispering?" I asked though I smiled anyway.

"My parents are both asleep," she whispered back. "But I wanted to call and tell you that I want to see you but my dad's grounded me for a few days."

"Grounded?" I demanded dryly, glancing at Cassie, but she was staring at the floor. Another other night, she would've smirked back at me, but tonight… nothing.

"Just the whole thing about coming in at 7 AM kinda freaked him out," she sighed. "But I'll be free on Friday."

Two days from now. I frowned and replied, disappointed, "That's too bad… I'm going to be closing at Red Rooster that night."

"Maybe I can come over to the apartment and…" she trailed off, realizing that was a bad idea. "Or you can come over here…" she began again then stopped. "Damn it," she muttered, sounding annoyed.

"Let's just hang out on Saturday night after I get off." I replied.

"Okay," she sounded disappointed and I felt bad but what could I do? "What are you doing right now?"

"I'm actually with Cassie right now; can I give you a call later?" I asked her. It wasn't that I'd forgotten about her; it was just that we were making plans.

"No don't call me, I'll call you," she replied quickly. "I'm technically not allowed to use my cell phone… part of my punishment, but I stole it back while they were sleeping."

"Okay." I agreed. "Then I'll talk to you…" I trailed off as I realized I didn't know when the next time I'd talk to her was and that depressed me. Please, get a grip, Erik, it's just three days. "I'll talk to you soon." I finished strongly.

"Okay," she sounded like she was holding back a laugh. I rolled my eyes at my own over-eagerness. "Bye."

"Bye," we hung up and I turned back to Cassie. "Sorry, I didn't forget about you, we were just making plans, and she can't be on the phone that long…" I trailed off at her expression of venom. "I'm sorry, Cass, I really am." I said weakly.

"Is this how it's going to be for the rest of our lives?" she demanded angrily. "You're going to forget about me the moment one of your little tarts call while I sit here, biding my time, bored?"

"Hey, she's not a tart!" I said angrily. "And no, of course not, you're my best friend!"

She scoffed loudly and threw her hands in the air, clearly annoyed. "Whatever, Erik," she snapped back at me.

"I told you, I didn't forget about you, I was just making plans with her!" I told her, just as annoyed. "It was special circumstances; she had to steal her phone from her parents while they slept since she's grounded-!"

"Is that how it's going to always be?" she demanded. "Special circumstances," "the timing,"… Is that how it's always going to be?"

I knew the reality of the situation… she wasn't mad at me about being on the phone with Christine, she was mad because she liked me, I liked someone else, and there was no way she could change her mind. I wasn't telling her what she wanted to hear. The anger was just a cover for the pain and disappointment. "No, of course not, Cassie, you're my best friend."

"Until something better comes along!" she added angrily.

"Of course not!" I repeated angrily, stopped, and felt my shoulders slowly rising to meet my earlobes just like Alexandra's had earlier that evening. "Look." I growled lowly. "I'm getting out of here before we say something we'll both regret. Call me once you've calmed down."

"Fine!" she snapped back as I stalked across the room and threw open her door. "That'll be a cold day in hell!" she shouted at me as I shut the door behind me.

Mrs. Franklin was coming up the stairs, looking concerned, as I was coming down. "Is everything okay, Erik?" she whispered. "Mr. Franklin's asleep, I was about to come up, and tell you two to keep it down!"

"We just got into an argument, Mrs. Franklin." I managed to unclench my teeth for a few moments. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," she replied, startled, as I hurried down the rest of the stairs, and out the door to my car.

I looked up at the house as I unlocked my car door. Cassie was standing at her window, looking down at me, face crumpled into tears.

I can't comfort you now, Cassie. It wouldn't be fair to you.

So I got into my car and drove away from my heartbroken best friend.